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What Not to Tell a Depressed Person

What's the Last Thing You Want to Hear When You're Upset?

Good morning, sunshine! That's probably the last thing you want to hear when you wake up, but what about when you're feeling down? PsychCentral rounded up 100 of the worst pieces of advice to give a depressed person. Here are five I've heard and only served to plunge my mood into depths previously unknown. Tell me which is the last thing you'd like to hear when you're down?

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Join The Conversation
Kaybaybayx Kaybaybayx 5 years
This too shall pass. Yes, yes it will. But we're in the here and now.
Carri Carri 5 years
I hate when someone tries to one-up you. Can't I just have a bad day without you trying to "top" me?!
Blue24 Blue24 5 years
I really hate hearing "No one ever told you life was fair" because people usually say it when THEY are acting really unfair towards me...
danakscully64 danakscully64 5 years
"Everything happens for a reason" definitely tops the list. I also hate "God never gives you more than you can handle" because I'm not even religious.
jazzytummy jazzytummy 5 years
It's condescending as hell.
lwimbush lwimbush 5 years
what's wrong with "this too shall pass?"
amber512 amber512 5 years
OMG, I HATED "no one ever said life was fair." Especially said by someone who had just told me no for no reason. And I'd ALWAYS think "well we can have an affect on that, just say yes and it'll be fair!
bransugar79 bransugar79 5 years
The one I hate the worst is "everything will get better" Or "it'll all work out in the end". I know this is probably just a personal pet peeve, but it drives me crazy. Even if everything does work out that doesn't stop me from experiencing the pain and discomfort of the situation now. Sometimes when you're in the middle of something you just need to feel bad about the situation without worrying about it getting better. It also feels like sometimes the person you are talking to is putting pressure on you, like if it doesn't magically work itself out it's just another thing that's your fault.
Vampyre Vampyre 5 years
Get over it. That is the worst thing you can say to me when I'm upset. Saying get over it doesn't help me. It does however make me pissed off at whoever said, in addition to whatever I was upset about in the first place.
jazzytummy jazzytummy 5 years
Have personally heard and resented all of the below: Relax. It could be worse. This too shall pass. The sun shines again tomorrow. Shhhhhh... Calm down. It was/wasn't meant to be. Everything happens for a reason. It's a blessing in disguise. It's not that bad. Anyone who really knows me knows never to say "get over it" to my face.
lickety-split lickety-split 5 years
LeSigh, totally agree. And no offense to anyone, but the people who act as if they are blessed, because THEY are living in gods grace. And if only I would live that way too, well......
katiekat95 katiekat95 5 years
The worst is when my dad says, "You should do XXXXX". Don't tell me what to do. Just listen. GEEZE.
Girl-Jen Girl-Jen 5 years
TheEnchantedOne, how about these: --"How can I help?" --"Do you want to talk about it, or do you want me to distract you?" --"Let's get you out of this house and go get some coffee." Those three phrases, said by friends and family, pulled me out of some horrible moods.
Studio16 Studio16 5 years
I hate, "I think you're just upset." When I am upset, I can be a bit harsh. I was freaking out under a lot of stress last month and on top of that - my best friend was pissing me off. I was talking to a couple old teachers. These are two women who are usually more than extraordinary at giving advice. So I'm freaking out and finally I say, "I don't think I even want to be her best friend anymore." (I'm still grappling with that thought one month and a lot less stress later.) Their responses? "You don't mean that, you're just upset."
icecreamsprinkle icecreamsprinkle 5 years
It makes me so mad when my family tells me to stop being over-dramatic. Well to them having any upset reaction at all is over-dramatic! It just makes me even angrier!
ladylove004 ladylove004 5 years
I can't stand it when my boyfriend tells me to calm down, it only makes me more angry. Plus, I am stubborn and refuse to calm down when I am told to do so.
TheEnchantedOne TheEnchantedOne 5 years
I'm guilty of some of the things said here. This makes me think of what we should tell someone who's upset or depressed. I know silence is golden, but sometimes, people want words. Especially when they ask you things after ranting, like, "What do you think?"
HoneyBrown1976 HoneyBrown1976 5 years
"Get over it". Ugh! I hate that phrase. It seeks to disenfranchise or invalidate the feelings of a person.
LaSigh LaSigh 5 years
I hate "God never gives you more than you can handle" I think of the people I've known in my life who have died accidentally or committed/attempted suicide and think "Really? Never more than they can handle?" it does *not* improve my mood.
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