The words that come out of a woman's mouth can be vastly different than what they really mean. From commenting on a friend's haircut to a roommate's messy room, all women seem to do it. Dear Wendy breaks down the most common things women say but don't really mean. Read the list below to see which ones you've said before!
We women say a lot of things, and half of them are code for something else. So, to help break the code, here's a handy list of some common things we women say and what we really mean when we say them.
To their friend who just got a really bad haircut:
"It doesn't look that bad." I'm so glad that didn't happen to me.
To their enemy who just got a really bad haircut:
"It looks good!" You look like the *sshole you are.
To their moms:
"He's a doctor!" Of love.
To their roommates:
"Hey, I might have some friends stopping by later." Pick up your sh*t.
To the guy they aren't attracted to who bought them a drink at the bar and is now asking for their number:
"I'm kind of seeing someone." I am so not interested, but thanks for the drink.
To the hot guy at the bar who's been flirting with their beautiful friend, as soon as she goes to the bathroom:
"She's kind of seeing someone." Everyone says we look like sisters.
To their ex when they run into each other and she doesn't look her best:
"I have the flu." Sh*t.
To the friend who just asked her to be in her (destination) wedding:
"Oh my God! Of course!" Well, there goes my vacation this year.
To their boyfriends:
"Karen just got engaged. Did you know they actually started dating after we did?" Propose or else.
To their friend who just announced she's pregnant:
"That's fantastic! I am SO excited for you!" I'm so excited for you! But . . . who am I gonna go to happy hour with now?
To their husbands:
"I don't know where it is, I didn't move it!" IT'S WHEREVER YOU FREAKIN' LEFT IT, PROBABLY RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE.
To their wives/girlfriends:
"You haven't seen so-and-so in a long time." There has GOT to be someone else for you to talk to.
To the person they've been seeing for a couple months who "isn't into labels":
"I know, right? Why do we need labels anyway? What do they even mean, you know?" Just call me your girlfriend already! I want to put in on Facebook!
To the person they've been dating for a few weeks but want to stop dating:
"I just don't think I'm really ready to date anyone yet." I met someone else I want to spend all my time with.
To their moms:
"I'm sorry, I didn't hear the phone ring." I didn't feel like talking to you / being criticized / answering questions about my love life and job.
To their bosses:
"I'm sorry, I'm not going to be able to come in today. I don't feel well." Cramps from hell / hangover / bad breakup / interview for another job / go f*ck yourself.
To their co-workers:
"Oh, I deleted my Facebook account." Because I was sick of seeing pictures of your cat.
To their co-workers:
"Pinterest just sort of overwhelms me." You can take your mason jars and papier-maché flowers and quinoa recipes and shove them up your butt. (But I did like those maple bacon cupcakes you brought in last week).
"I'm done dating losers." I'm so sick of being dumped by losers!!!
"I didn't even want that stupid job." I don't want to work at all!!!
"I'm totally over him." I want a cupcake.
"He's really nice and sweet and treats me great." There's no way I'm having sex with him.
To their FWB:
"I'm so glad we can just have fun together without any drama." There's about to be some drama.
To their significant others:
"I have PMS." Please pick up some magazines and chocolate and a bottle of wine on your way home, thanks.
"I'm way too busy for a relationship!" I'm so lonely.
To the salesperson:
"I think I'm like a size 6?" I was a size 6 in college for about two weeks right after my boyfriend dumped me and I didn't eat for a month. Now I'm a 10.
To their spouse:
"It was on sale!" So I also bought a pair of shoes, a dress, and some jeans that will hopefully fit after I lose five pounds!
To their friends:
"None for me, thanks — I'm Paleo now, three days!" I'm about to become the most annoying person you know.
"I feel fantastic on this Paleo diet!" I want a cupcake.
To their cats:
"I love you so much." I love you so much!!!