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What's Your Take: Is It OK to Look?

What's Your Take: Is It OK to Look?

My friend made a deep, dark confession to me the other day. She told me that she made a profile on an online dating site, and sat down nightly to peek at her potential matches in her inbox. She no longer has issues with online dating, but she's ashamed that instead of paying for the full service and actually giving it a try, she's checking out the basic profiles of the guys who might fit her ideals just to make herself feel better about her current (post-breakup) situation.

I swore to her that it was fine, but it did seem kind of odd. So is sitting at home, sipping wine while checking out matches online the new version of sitting at a bar, drinking a cocktail and checking out single men? If so, what does that mean in terms of being single and putting yourself out there? So what's your take, is it OK to look?

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angelbaby2 angelbaby2 8 years
i meant met!
angelbaby2 angelbaby2 8 years
i meant met!
angelbaby2 angelbaby2 8 years
meet the hubby on there-very successful and cute! go for it girl! you may meet a pilot! I did!
amariexxo amariexxo 8 years
As long as you're not going out and meeting every guy in person that gets in touch with you and use discretion with personal information, everything should be fine. Online dating sites allow people to contact other people whom they never would have met otherwise. Although, online dating has the potential to decrease the "real life" social aspect of going out and meeting new people. It provides people with a way to communicate with random strangers from the comfort of home.
samischo samischo 8 years
Why wouldn't it be OK? There's nothing wrong with looking and nothing wrong with online dating, either. My dad met his current fiancee over the internet, and they are both the sanest, down-to-earth people I know.
Marci Marci 8 years
I see this as a non-problem
Marci Marci 8 years
I see this as a non-problem
rpenner rpenner 8 years
Yeah, I'm not really seeing a problem here...
emalove emalove 8 years
If this is making her feel better and helping to get her through her break-up, then I don't see what the harm is.
linb linb 8 years
I actually think this is really common. I've always wondered what type of people they would match me with, although I'm not sure if I would ever actually sign up. At least she in single - I don't see anything wrong with it.
Meike Meike 8 years
Lol, yes, it's okay to look. She might actually find someone she likes.
thewriter thewriter 8 years
With all the maddness in the world...who is she hurting....no one. "Stop obessing!"
thewriter thewriter 8 years
With all the maddness in the world...who is she hurting....no one. "Stop obessing!"
kiwitwist kiwitwist 8 years
There is no problem with this at all. If she was married and doing it, then I would have an issue.
brown_eyed_grrl brown_eyed_grrl 8 years
It's not bad. It's not like she's promising anything. I don't get the online dating thing, but to each her own.
hotstuff hotstuff 8 years
It's ok to look I guess but I feel bad for the guys who are trying to contact your friend hoping for a real relationship and she's just kinda playing games to make herself feel better. It makes it harder for other women who aren't playing games. Kind of the equivalent to meeting an unavailable guy at the bar who's just leading you on.
7kimba7 7kimba7 8 years
If she's single, I don't see why it would be a bad thing.
bellaressa bellaressa 8 years
On the Eharmony commercial-it says its okay to look. LOL
ThePerfectScore ThePerfectScore 8 years
Yeah I did it one lonely saturday night and thats how I met my ex..... and we had a fun time... so nothing wrong with looking.. she may just find someone
CoMMember13630786602261 CoMMember13630786602261 8 years
"having a man rescue me on horseback being my preferred method":rotfl:
CoMMember13630786602261 CoMMember13630786602261 8 years
"having a man rescue me on horseback being my preferred method" :rotfl:
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 8 years
I did the exact same thing after a bad breakup. It's like this easy way to see all these men out there who seem like nice, normal dudes. It's one thing to know there are millions of fish in the sea, it's quite another to know there are thousands of men within 5 miles just looking to date you :)Honestly, it made me feel better.And after a couple weeks a specific profile compelled me to pay the price to sign up and contact him. And here we are, three years later. Certainly not my preferred method of meeting someone. (Having a man rescue me on horseback being my preferred method.) But in the scheme of things, how we met seems so irrelevant now.
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 8 years
I did the exact same thing after a bad breakup. It's like this easy way to see all these men out there who seem like nice, normal dudes. It's one thing to know there are millions of fish in the sea, it's quite another to know there are thousands of men within 5 miles just looking to date you :) Honestly, it made me feel better. And after a couple weeks a specific profile compelled me to pay the price to sign up and contact him. And here we are, three years later. Certainly not my preferred method of meeting someone. (Having a man rescue me on horseback being my preferred method.) But in the scheme of things, how we met seems so irrelevant now.
Jennifer777 Jennifer777 8 years
How exactly is this a bad thing??? I mean if she just broke up with someone I can see why she wouldn't be ready to go out and hit the bars and checking out who is available online is a nice way to ease back into the dating scene.
javsmav javsmav 8 years
Yeah, I don't get why this is a deep, dark secret unless you are concerned she is scamming the online dating companies. I met my boyfriend online when I was checking out a guy's profile for my friend. I signed up for the 3-day free trial, contacted my future boyfriend, and canceled my membership before my credit card was charged the full amount for a month (I was just interested in one guy & if he didn't want to talk to me, then I didn't want to be a member for a whole extra month). And yes, I had a glass of wine while I did this. I mean, maybe if this goes on forever, then there's a problem because no, she's not really putting herself out there. But if she is just getting over a break-up, then I don't see a problem. I recommend online dating to all my girlfriends after a break-up. Your inbox gets slammed with emails from guys when you first sign up. How can that not cheer you up?
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