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When Your Mom Wants You to Be Cool

When Your Mom Wants You to Be Cool

If Lindsay Lohan's latest stint in rehab reinforces her "it girl" status and increases tabloid attention, then Dina Lohan could care less about Lindsay obeying the law. That's if yesterday's New York Post is to be believed.

Basing its claim on a new book You're Grounded Forever . . . But First, Let's Go Shopping, the Post says New York mothers like Dina encourage their daughters to engage in fame-making bad behavior.

The author of the book interviewed women who could be straight out of Gossip Girl and considered some data — such as the fact that New York moms send their daughters to shrinks, tutors, and dermatologists at an earlier age than other girls in the US. When it comes to weight, the book highlights some depressing habits of certain mothers: they get their daughters scales at age 10 and start losing sleep about whether their girls will lose their baby fat by kindergarten. Heavy stuff.

The book identifies warning signs for all women raising girls. If you encourage material indulgence (what color would you like that designer bag in?), question what your daughter is eating, undermine her female friendships (I know she's your friend, but . . .), or help her make excuses, you probably have a problem. Do you recognize any of these traits in your mom?

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tlsgirl tlsgirl 5 years
None of these in my mom. I wish she'd taken me to a derm earlier, as a matter of fact. I could've skipped the ridiculous scars on my face.
lickety-split lickety-split 5 years
i was going to lunch with my 9 year old, her bff and her bff's mom. my daughter says, "its like i was telling my one therapist.." then her cell phone rings and she says "hold on", and answers the phone.now to hear that, it sounds AWFUL. but the cell phone was a one day "reward" from her grandpa for a high math grade, and the therapist was the school counselor who she saw a few times when my mom died (3 years ago).it did tell me that this kind of stuff carries some weird social clout though.
lickety-split lickety-split 5 years
i was going to lunch with my 9 year old, her bff and her bff's mom. my daughter says, "its like i was telling my one therapist.." then her cell phone rings and she says "hold on", and answers the phone. now to hear that, it sounds AWFUL. but the cell phone was a one day "reward" from her grandpa for a high math grade, and the therapist was the school counselor who she saw a few times when my mom died (3 years ago). it did tell me that this kind of stuff carries some weird social clout though.
stephley stephley 5 years
I think there are too many generalizations in the article to be really helpful. I certainly asked my daughter what color iPod she wanted - and I'd ask if I was buying her a designer purse (which under very certain circumstances, I could see me doing). As Toty points out, shrinks, dermatologists and tutors can be reasonable helps for a younger child. Talking to your child about their clothing choices, their eating habits etc is part of guiding them in making healthy decisions. The difference with the moms the article is talking about is that their children are status symbols, meal tickets and measures of Mom’s own coolness, value, attractiveness etc. If Lindsay had been a gawky child, of no interest to any advertiser or producer, Dina would have lost interest and focused more on Ali.
stephley stephley 5 years
I think there are too many generalizations in the article to be really helpful. I certainly asked my daughter what color iPod she wanted - and I'd ask if I was buying her a designer purse (which under very certain circumstances, I could see me doing). As Toty points out, shrinks, dermatologists and tutors can be reasonable helps for a younger child. Talking to your child about their clothing choices, their eating habits etc is part of guiding them in making healthy decisions.The difference with the moms the article is talking about is that their children are status symbols, meal tickets and measures of Mom’s own coolness, value, attractiveness etc. If Lindsay had been a gawky child, of no interest to any advertiser or producer, Dina would have lost interest and focused more on Ali.
onlysourcherry onlysourcherry 5 years
same here, my mom was always very supportive. Not that she never criticized me, but nothing like what's listed above.
starbucks2 starbucks2 5 years
My mom is awesome! She let me wear whatever I want (nothing too crazy anyway) and she would never bring up my weight (I went through a chubby phase when I hit puberty). Instead she always encouraged healthy habits.
Pistil Pistil 5 years
No, thank God. I am very grateful my mother was never overbearing or high maintenance. I turned out just fine, and not fat.
totygoliguez totygoliguez 5 years
To be honest, I don't see what's wrong with taking your daughter to a shrink, a dermatologist and teaching them healthy habits from an early age. One thing is to be like LL's mom, and another is to teach your kids about healthy habits. When I was entering adolescence, I gained some wight, and my mom was honest with me about it. This encouraged me to lose weight. And what is wrong with going to a shrink form an early age? Shrinks helped my brother a lot, and yes kids do have problems that can affect them for the rest of their lives. There is nothing wrong to tell your kids they are fat, in a nice way,when they are. If your parents are not honest with you, then who will? Telling your kids what they want to hear is not healthy for them and it's not good parenting.
bengalspice bengalspice 5 years
My mom was always worrying that I was wearing "the right" outfit to dinner parties ever since I was little ... and she still makes fun of my teenage sister for still having some baby fat. Meanwhile, my sister is gorgeous and has no reason to be ashamed of her physique.
dexaholic dexaholic 5 years
No.. and I thought my mom was bad. No wonder Lindsay is so effed up.
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