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Where Do You Stand: Back to Back Dates

A friend of mine went on a fabulous first date over the weekend. They had great conversation, amazing chemistry and he was a perfect gentleman all night —they even ended the evening with a kiss! She sounded really excited about the possibility of him being someone she could actually like, but when he called her the next day to ask her out for that night, she was immediately turned off! Now I get that there's something to be said about the chase, but what's so wrong about going out two nights in a row with the same person? I happen to think she wouldn't have hesitated if she was really into him, but then again, appearing mysterious has its perks too. So where you stand on back to back dates? Would you let the rules go if you really liked someone or are you of the mindset that a little distance makes the heart grow fonder?

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dikke-kus dikke-kus 7 years
I think I may fall more in line with myladybloom. If someone is asking me out the second night it means one thing. He really really likes you. So smile. Be flattered. Be excited. If you don't want to rush in quite so fast and you're not prepared then tell him the feeling is mutual, but maybe not tonight since your busy and you had plans, however tomorrow or this weekend would be great......how does his schedule look? If he's an adult male he'll understand and be patient to a degree. It's not playing games to wait a couple days.
chhavi chhavi 8 years
i know i wouldn't hesitate going out for the second date with the same gu I found nice on the first.
rocketgirl rocketgirl 8 years
If I really hit it off and he called me the next day, I'd be ecstatic! I'd prefer none of that waiting-around-forever stuff to obsess over.
sundaygreen sundaygreen 8 years
If I really like the guy, I wouldn't have a second thought about seeing him the next day - if not as soon as possible!
JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 8 years
If he wants to see you again that is a good sign. If you say no just because you don't want to go out two nights in a row, he'll probably think you didn't like him and not bother to call again. Don't play games, it's pointless and you never get anywhere.
Marci Marci 8 years
If I like a guy, I'm thrilled if he calls the next day and wants to get together. So I'm not sure how your friend really feels about the guy, based on her reaction. I'm not into all the rules at all in waiting to call, etc. etc. My fiance would call and if he suggested getting together in an hour, I went if I wanted to. What's the big deal? You either like the guy or you don't.
Marci Marci 8 years
If I like a guy, I'm thrilled if he calls the next day and wants to get together. So I'm not sure how your friend really feels about the guy, based on her reaction. I'm not into all the rules at all in waiting to call, etc. etc. My fiance would call and if he suggested getting together in an hour, I went if I wanted to. What's the big deal? You either like the guy or you don't.
katiejane24 katiejane24 8 years
I'm with the crowd. My boyfriend and I had a great first date, and the next day when he texted to tell me he'd had an amazing time and I replied and thanked him for a great evening, he dove right in and asked if I had any plans and would like to hang out. In the end, he came over with pizza to watch The Jerk on DVD, and now we're about three months in and it's still going fabulously. If I hadn't been attracted to him then sure, I'd have been a little taken aback. Or if he'd proposed something that sounded more like a booty call, I'd be offended. But "so what sounds good, would you like to go out for a bite, or to a movie, or just hang out? I'm up for whatever you want." What girl in her right mind would turn that down from a guy she's attracted to and has sparks with?
emalove emalove 8 years
I'd be okay with it...I was never one for games or the whole "you have to wait three days to see him again" BS. If I wanted to see someone again, I'd just ask, whether I saw them the day before or not. So it wouldn't bother me if I had a fab first date with a guy and he wanted to see me again the next day. I'd probably be excited.
myladybloom myladybloom 8 years
Oh, and BTW, tomatoshirt -- personally I think that the guy who wrote that article is a douche.
myladybloom myladybloom 8 years
For me, "head games" have nothing to do with it. I just like to be able to plan these things in advance, and being asked out the next day throws me off a little bit. I don't like doing anything last minute. Not that I wouldn't be flattered, of course. I just like to be prepared, mentally as well as sartorially. On second thought, I guess I would go out, if I really liked him. I'd just be a little flustered, of course.
myladybloom myladybloom 8 years
For me, "head games" have nothing to do with it. I just like to be able to plan these things in advance, and being asked out the next day throws me off a little bit. I don't like doing anything last minute. Not that I wouldn't be flattered, of course. I just like to be prepared, mentally as well as sartorially. On second thought, I guess I would go out, if I really liked him. I'd just be a little flustered, of course.
MissChita MissChita 8 years
Yeah, for the girl to just be turned off by the guy asking for a second date is silly. Maybe she likes him, but wants to continue the chase. But one thing she'll realize, he will stop chasing sooner or later if there's a lady that is very interested in him like he is in her, and your friend will be long forgotten. So, I would say yes to a second date. I would like a day or two 'off' (LOL) after that to chill and tell my friends all about it, but if I like someone, I would love to see them all the time!
urban-chic-101 urban-chic-101 8 years
Yeah I would totally go out the next day. In fact, I have. I mean it didn't work out in the long run, but hey whatever... I had a lot of fun.
tomatoshirt tomatoshirt 8 years
I think it is very sweet of him asking her out two days in a row. It shows that he is serouis about it - to me at least. I mean she had a great time as well, why turn him down? Because of girls like that, guys become less and less interested. Stop playing the mind game, if you like him, be serouis... http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/08/fashion/08love.html?ex=1213675200&en=323fc9d02cf57d5d&ei=5070&emc=eta1
tomatoshirt tomatoshirt 8 years
I think it is very sweet of him asking her out two days in a row. It shows that he is serouis about it - to me at least. I mean she had a great time as well, why turn him down? Because of girls like that, guys become less and less interested. Stop playing the mind game, if you like him, be serouis... http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/08/fashion/08love.html?ex=1213675200&en=323fc9d02cf57d5d&ei=5070&emc=eta1
snowbunny11 snowbunny11 8 years
Definitely I'd be up for a second date in a row! It's only bad if you truly have plans that you cancel to hang out; you shouldn't cancel plans with friends and family to hang out with a new guy, or ever I suppose! But seriously, if you're not busy, what's with the head game?
fantome14 fantome14 8 years
Games are lame, I agree, but I wouldn't go because I have too much to do! I am trying to start my dissertation this summer. I couldn't give anyone, no matter how much I like him, that level of time and attention right now.
lms lms 8 years
If we hit if off then I wouldn't have a problem with it at all.
TidalWave TidalWave 8 years
i would go out. games are lame.
Kelliegrl Kelliegrl 8 years
What's wrong with what he did? Women get upset when a man takes too long to call back and they get upset when a guy calls back too soon. If he likes you and you like him, what's the big deal. Take a chance.
Sporky Sporky 8 years
I'm with darkangel, guys just can't win for trying these days.
sabrinaBee sabrinaBee 8 years
nothing wrong with it! I would be really into a man who treated me right and would gladly accept a second date...just as i did with my boyfriend! Mine was worse... *lol*... on our first date...about two hours after we met, he told me "when can i see you again? Can i see you again tomorrow?" - those are the exact words believe me, and I said yes! i wasn't gonna lose a gentleman like my bf is :) we've been together since that day and i can say we're very happy together.
sabrinaBee sabrinaBee 8 years
nothing wrong with it! I would be really into a man who treated me right and would gladly accept a second date...just as i did with my boyfriend!Mine was worse... *lol*... on our first date...about two hours after we met, he told me "when can i see you again? Can i see you again tomorrow?" - those are the exact words believe me, and I said yes! i wasn't gonna lose a gentleman like my bf is :) we've been together since that day and i can say we're very happy together.
cubadog cubadog 8 years
I don't see what the big deal is you clicked there is nothing wrong with going out the next day or night.
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