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Where Do You Stand: Family Members Remaining Friends With Your Ex

Just yesterday, Kevin Federline and Jamie Spears were photographed playing golf together, weird, right? With everything that's going on between Britney and Kevin, I have to say that I'd be pretty upset by this "friendship" if I were Brit. I'm OK with remaining cordial with family members after a split, especially when there are children involved, but in this situation, shouldn't Mr. Spear's loyalty lie with his daughter? I might be overreacting on this one so tell me what you all think. Would you be OK if your parents carried on a relationship with your ex? And would it be worse if the break up was as messy?

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cottonpoots cottonpoots 7 years
This is reminiscent of the Jolie-Pitt/Aniston situation - just plain awkward.
Pheefs Pheefs 7 years
My brother's ex ended up being my mom's house-mate!They were roomies for almost five years & I don't think anyone thinks of her as the ex anymore. I agree that it depends on the situation. If your family builds their own relationship with someone you're dating they shouldn't have to break up with them when you do.Unless they were a horrible jerk or something...
Pheefs Pheefs 7 years
My brother's ex ended up being my mom's house-mate! They were roomies for almost five years & I don't think anyone thinks of her as the ex anymore. I agree that it depends on the situation. If your family builds their own relationship with someone you're dating they shouldn't have to break up with them when you do. Unless they were a horrible jerk or something...
snowbunny11 snowbunny11 7 years
In most situations NO, but this one definitely makes sense. Kevin has custody of Jamie's grandkids, so they should be on good terms so they can coordinate childcare and raising the kids. Also, because of Brit's illness the more support she can get, even if Kevin supporting her is indirectly through her dad, the better. I am sure Kevin is interested in her well-being, and signs of her irrationality were probably pretty apparent during the end of their marriage, and maybe when she married him in the first place! Not to mention, Jamie and Kevin probably have a lot of legal stuff to talk about, and chatting directly is probably better than just doing it through lawyers.
snowbunny11 snowbunny11 7 years
In most situations NO, but this one definitely makes sense. Kevin has custody of Jamie's grandkids, so they should be on good terms so they can coordinate childcare and raising the kids. Also, because of Brit's illness the more support she can get, even if Kevin supporting her is indirectly through her dad, the better. I am sure Kevin is interested in her well-being, and signs of her irrationality were probably pretty apparent during the end of their marriage, and maybe when she married him in the first place! Not to mention, Jamie and Kevin probably have a lot of legal stuff to talk about, and chatting directly is probably better than just doing it through lawyers.
mlen mlen 7 years
in a situation like this i think its good they are staying friendly. they have a lot going on right now and being enemies would just add more to it. they all have the kids best intersts at heart and i think kevin cares about britney's well being as well. the better terms they all stay on, hopefully the more amicably everything is resolved and stays resolved and that is better for everyone involved! so i guess not specifically regarding ths case - i think if kids are involved especially its nice if people can stay pleasent towards each other
aimeeb aimeeb 7 years
Ooops "bad blood" not just blood. :rotfl:
aimeeb aimeeb 7 years
Marci very true. It's surely not a black and white situation since not everyone had bad or messy breakups. I mean just think, Jen Aniston is still close with Brad's family. I think if you had a bad breakup then it could be a bad idea but if it was a mutual breakup and there was no blood I don't see the problem. If you bond with someone and become close to give a friendship up because two people part ways seems kind of well...stupid. I would never have a problem with it unless it was with a guy I had a bad breakup with. I mean it would be like, if I dated my brother's friend and then we broke up, should my brother stop being friends with him...uhhh no. So ya, I think there are too many variables for someone to say it's a "BAD" idea.
aimeeb aimeeb 7 years
Marci very true. It's surely not a black and white situation since not everyone had bad or messy breakups. I mean just think, Jen Aniston is still close with Brad's family. I think if you had a bad breakup then it could be a bad idea but if it was a mutual breakup and there was no blood I don't see the problem. If you bond with someone and become close to give a friendship up because two people part ways seems kind of well...stupid. I would never have a problem with it unless it was with a guy I had a bad breakup with. I mean it would be like, if I dated my brother's friend and then we broke up, should my brother stop being friends with him...uhhh no.So ya, I think there are too many variables for someone to say it's a "BAD" idea.
Marci Marci 7 years
I have a brother who has been married 3 times. Three women I bonded with. It's tough to give them up just because he gets bored and wants to move on. And he doesn't seem to care if everyone stays in touch, so at least it's not a big problem. I don't see this as an all or nothing kind of thing. It all depends on the people and the circumstances.
Marci Marci 7 years
I have a brother who has been married 3 times. Three women I bonded with. It's tough to give them up just because he gets bored and wants to move on. And he doesn't seem to care if everyone stays in touch, so at least it's not a big problem. I don't see this as an all or nothing kind of thing. It all depends on the people and the circumstances.
rpenner rpenner 7 years
Totally too many variables here to be able to make a yes or no decision. But I do think it can work. We don't talk as much anymore, but at one time I was still very close to an ex's mom, even after I'd moved on to a new relationship.
emalove emalove 7 years
I'd be pissed if any of my family members decided to be buddies with an ex of mine, although I know they all know better than that. I'd certainly never do it to them either. I think it's disrespectful and inappropriate.
girlgreen girlgreen 7 years
ughh, my parents are so in love with my ex. and we broke up almost 5 years ago! i know. my mom invites him over and puts up our old prom pictures around the house for when he comes. i get really mad when i find out, but then my mom reminds me that i'm the one who broke his heart. it is definitely annoying. my dad goes to bball games with him and does guy stuff with him (having 3 girls, he's sorta like the son he never had or something). but he actually just moved out of the country so hopefully it's really over now.
i-am-elle i-am-elle 7 years
My family & my ex's family go to the same church, so it's inevitable that we run into each other & see each other at parties. Everyone's really cool about it & I love that we're all on good terms. I'm glad there's no weirdness because at one point in my life, they were like a second family to me. We're definitely not as close anymore, but I like to think we still have a connection, however small it may be now.
Korsgal Korsgal 7 years
my dad and my ex are on a fantasy football team together. It pisses me off. Show some loyalty.
brown_eyed_grrl brown_eyed_grrl 7 years
In this situation, I think the more stability and friendliness among family members of the children--the better. Maybe if Brit had it together I'd think this is weird, but considering the hospitalizations, strange behavior, etc., I think what's best for the kids is what really matters, and it's good for them to get a good feeling of the relationship between their father and their grandparents.It's different when you have kids. If they hadn't had two children together, I'd say it's wrong for her dad to continue to hang out with Kevin.
brown_eyed_grrl brown_eyed_grrl 7 years
In this situation, I think the more stability and friendliness among family members of the children--the better. Maybe if Brit had it together I'd think this is weird, but considering the hospitalizations, strange behavior, etc., I think what's best for the kids is what really matters, and it's good for them to get a good feeling of the relationship between their father and their grandparents. It's different when you have kids. If they hadn't had two children together, I'd say it's wrong for her dad to continue to hang out with Kevin.
Asia84 Asia84 7 years
if we broke up, and with good reason, i would be upset if my mom or dad went out and had dinner or played golf with my ex.even if there are grandkids involved. sure, you need to keep things cordial and what not, but WHY do you need to hang out together???the only reason to communicate is if it's about the kids and that's it.as far as Brit's situation, i think Jaime is butterin' up Kevin. it's that simple. they NEVER hung out before when Brit was married to the loser. in fact, that was why she became estranged from her family-because she married him. it is what it is.
Asia84 Asia84 7 years
if we broke up, and with good reason, i would be upset if my mom or dad went out and had dinner or played golf with my ex. even if there are grandkids involved. sure, you need to keep things cordial and what not, but WHY do you need to hang out together??? the only reason to communicate is if it's about the kids and that's it. as far as Brit's situation, i think Jaime is butterin' up Kevin. it's that simple. they NEVER hung out before when Brit was married to the loser. in fact, that was why she became estranged from her family-because she married him. it is what it is.
ktownpolarbear ktownpolarbear 7 years
i think it depends on the situation. in this case, it's probably a good idea b/c the custody situation and britney's mental health. it keeps the entire family on good terms, especially when the kids are involved.
Sun_Sun Sun_Sun 7 years
i really like my sisters ex, and hes been nothing but a respectful brother to me. plus they have kids and i live close to the father now so when he has them it can be easier for me to see them cuz we have a good relationship.
CaterpillarGirl CaterpillarGirl 7 years
Its only wierd if they dont have a connection anymore, Kev and Brit had kids and thats thier grandpa, you must retain some sort of amicable relationship.
aimeeb aimeeb 7 years
I'm best friends with my brothers ex gf. They date for a fair amount of years and we went to college together. We had a better relationship than they did! So why end it?? They have both moved on and he doesn't seem to care her and I are still so close...I'm also best friends with my younger sister's ex boyfriend's wife. They dated about 4 yrs or so and broke up years back. His new girlfriend (now wife) and I met through a mutual friend. I think if the family member doesn't mind what's the big deal?
aimeeb aimeeb 7 years
I'm best friends with my brothers ex gf. They date for a fair amount of years and we went to college together. We had a better relationship than they did! So why end it?? They have both moved on and he doesn't seem to care her and I are still so close... I'm also best friends with my younger sister's ex boyfriend's wife. They dated about 4 yrs or so and broke up years back. His new girlfriend (now wife) and I met through a mutual friend. I think if the family member doesn't mind what's the big deal?
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