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Where Do You Stand? Marriage and Kids


Deciding when to get married is a personal choice that's different for every couple, but I've been hearing more and more women say that they don't want to marry their significant other until they're ready to start a family. While I understand where they're coming from, I'd personally like to enjoy married life before diving into motherhood. To each her own so tell me, where do you stand on the notion of marriage and kids going hand in hand?

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dikke-kus dikke-kus 7 years
I don't understand the mentality of waiting to marry until you feel the desire to reproduce. Its silly and selfish. Men are not sperm banks. If you go around saying you're ready to be married because you're ready to have a baby, men will be turned off. Just watch them go running for the hills. Everyone wants kids but don't bet on anything. If you have a chioce, why miss the honeymoon years when you become the sole center of attention by your husband? At the beginning a marriage is all about you. His love, happiness, and desire for you is part of the natural course of things Children are the happy outcome after you decide he will make a good father and a loving husband. However everyone has different sets of circumstances. I know the clock is ticking for so many girls but couples who gave themselves some breathing room before children are better off. Having children right away is very tough.
dikke-kus dikke-kus 7 years
I don't understand the mentality of waiting to marry until you feel the desire to reproduce. Its silly and selfish. Men are not sperm banks. If you go around saying you're ready to be married because you're ready to have a baby, men will be turned off. Just watch them go running for the hills. Everyone wants kids but don't bet on anything. If you have a chioce, why miss the honeymoon years when you become the sole center of attention by your husband? At the beginning a marriage is all about you. His love, happiness, and desire for you is part of the natural course of things Children are the happy outcome after you decide he will make a good father and a loving husband. However everyone has different sets of circumstances. I know the clock is ticking for so many girls but couples who gave themselves some breathing room before children are better off. Having children right away is very tough.
sparklestar sparklestar 7 years
If somebody cannot make the commitment of marriage to me then they SURE AS HELL can't be mature enough to have kids. Simple as. We'd have a lot less problems if people were married before having kids.
sparklestar sparklestar 7 years
If somebody cannot make the commitment of marriage to me then they SURE AS HELL can't be mature enough to have kids. Simple as.We'd have a lot less problems if people were married before having kids.
LeChatonNoir LeChatonNoir 7 years
Maybe I'm being idealistic, but bear with me... I'm 23, living with my fiance, and know that if I ever suddenly got pregnant I would be extremely scared and caught off guard. However, I would also be ecstatic, because I do want to start a family with him, and sometimes surprises happen. However, I think women are so afraid of the commitment they jump into as a mother that they feel guilty wishing to continue seeing themselves as independent - they suddenly feel bogged down. Today's woman can do anything if she sets her mind to it - and while a baby may sure complicate things, nothing's impossible. First and foremost, I would never put my dreams on hold for a child - because I know that being a role model is of much more worth to him or her than sacrificing those dreams on their behalf. I know that might be slightly off-topic, but I think the undercurrent of the question is, "does having a child change the way you live?" and I want to put it out there, that it doesn't need to.
LeChatonNoir LeChatonNoir 7 years
Maybe I'm being idealistic, but bear with me...I'm 23, living with my fiance, and know that if I ever suddenly got pregnant I would be extremely scared and caught off guard. However, I would also be ecstatic, because I do want to start a family with him, and sometimes surprises happen.However, I think women are so afraid of the commitment they jump into as a mother that they feel guilty wishing to continue seeing themselves as independent - they suddenly feel bogged down.Today's woman can do anything if she sets her mind to it - and while a baby may sure complicate things, nothing's impossible. First and foremost, I would never put my dreams on hold for a child - because I know that being a role model is of much more worth to him or her than sacrificing those dreams on their behalf.I know that might be slightly off-topic, but I think the undercurrent of the question is, "does having a child change the way you live?" and I want to put it out there, that it doesn't need to.
luna08 luna08 7 years
Personally speaking, to me, marriage was always about romantic love, not about having children." Well said, GlowingMoon! I'm ambivalent about children, but not about marriage.
luna08 luna08 7 years
Personally speaking, to me, marriage was always about romantic love, not about having children." Well said, GlowingMoon! I'm ambivalent about children, but not about marriage.
fabpuissant fabpuissant 7 years
We had our first baby a year after we got married, yeah looking back then how I wish, that we enjoyed our married life first before having a baby..... but now, how could I have regrets for having 2 adorable kids at the earliest point in my married life? They're the best thing that ever happened to me.... It's priceless..
Taadie Taadie 7 years
Married for 2-3 years then kids. So many marriages break up in the first 3 years and why not enjoy married life and the tax breaks without the kids int he picture.
pioneers pioneers 7 years
One of the first things that attracted me to my boyfriend was when he said that he didn't really want to get married and he absolutely hates kids.It's love.
pioneers pioneers 7 years
One of the first things that attracted me to my boyfriend was when he said that he didn't really want to get married and he absolutely hates kids. It's love.
MsWalton MsWalton 7 years
I don't want to get married or have children. It was never a part of "The Master Plan" so to say.
bbkf bbkf 7 years
I don't want kids. Ever. So getting married had nothing to do with breeding.
starbucks2 starbucks2 7 years
i'm pregnant right now, and me and my boyfriend are not married. we still had a few years we enjoyed together as a couple. i don't see how you could marry someone you have never been living with before. that has divorce written all over it. you don't fully get to know a person until you know they don't know how to pick up their socks...
sundaygreen sundaygreen 7 years
I wouldn't care either way.
sundaygreen sundaygreen 7 years
I wouldn't care either way.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 7 years
We're happily married, and child-free by choice. We've been together for over 10 years, and have no plans to have children. Personally speaking, to me, marriage was always about romantic love, not about having children.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 7 years
We're happily married, and child-free by choice. We've been together for over 10 years, and have no plans to have children.Personally speaking, to me, marriage was always about romantic love, not about having children.
GScott86 GScott86 7 years
* I still don't get why people consider marriage such a HUGE responsibility or something* If you can get along with that one other person for the rest of your life, what's the big deal? You can do that without kids. -_- I figure you have kids if that's what you're ready for and want for the next 18 minimum years.
La-Tua-Cantante La-Tua-Cantante 7 years
I too would like to wait a while after being married to have kids. Not only does it give you the chance to enjoy some alone time together, but I would like to really make sure we have a solid respectful foundation (and a shot at making it!) before bringing another human being(s) into the picture.
ashopaholic ashopaholic 7 years
I really don't see the point of marriage and I dislike kids lol. I don't get the whole enjoying marriage thing first though. Can someone enlighten me? How does married life differ from living with your partner (assuming you lived with your so first)? I'm not asking this in a rude or condescending way btw!
ashopaholic ashopaholic 7 years
I really don't see the point of marriage and I dislike kids lol. I don't get the whole enjoying marriage thing first though. Can someone enlighten me? How does married life differ from living with your partner (assuming you lived with your so first)? I'm not asking this in a rude or condescending way btw!
Jesi_Oh Jesi_Oh 7 years
I’ll have kids when I and my relationship are ready for it but I don’t see myself ever getting married. It’s just not important to me or my partner. …and I totally agree with Plus_2_Kids that Kids are the new Married. For me, having children with someone is a much bigger commitment that marriage!
Jesi_Oh Jesi_Oh 7 years
I’ll have kids when I and my relationship are ready for it but I don’t see myself ever getting married. It’s just not important to me or my partner. …and I totally agree with Plus_2_Kids that Kids are the new Married. For me, having children with someone is a much bigger commitment that marriage!
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