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Where Do You Stand? Sibling Rivalry

Even though I'm the oldest in my family, I've still fallen victim to sibling rivalry. And while my brother and I are very different, it's that competition that often times pushes us to reach our goals, whatever they may be. Yes, rivalry has a down side too, but tell me, where do you stand on the matter? Do you think it's just a healthy part of any family dynamic or does rivalry have the ability to wedge a gap between siblings?


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missaw7496 missaw7496 5 years
I think competition can be good and bad. Good because it can help you reach your goals and competition and jealousy is natural. but competition can be bad because it can ruin relationships when siblings are constantly trying to one-up each other. Sometimes we need to just stop competing and call a truce- but competition is good for a little extra push.
JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 8 years
I hate competing with my brother. He's now in the Marine's and my parents act like that makes up for everything bad he's ever done. He has stuck both of my parents with his bills since they co-signed with him. He racked up credit card debt, he's irresponsible and loses things and claims it was stolen. I've always been mediocre. I was a great student but that never got me praise. I'm going to college but that isn't as good as the marines to them. I was an athlete in middle school but that didn't matter because my brother was too. We don't intentionally compete but I know we both feel like we don't live up to the other one. No question that if someone from the outside were looking in I'd look like the good child and the better person but I feel like my parents don't see it that way because I've never done anything extreme like joining the marines, I like to play it safe.
anna_muffin anna_muffin 8 years
There is no open rivalry in my family, I'm on great terms with my siblings, but I think there is some underlying rivalry when it comes to our education and careers. Education is very highly valued in our family, so the schools we attend and the grades we get really matter. So, for example, I feel like I should pursue a PhD, because both my sisters did and my cousin (very close, I consider her a sibling) plans to. So I guess it's not real rivalry, we don't have to win over one another, just nobody wants to be "worse" than the others. (My brother dropped out of college, but he's the smartest one anyway, so he's excluded from the competition.)
Seka21 Seka21 8 years
... jealousy of me being youngest.. and more sucessfull. I love them but they hate me.. it sucks because esp one brother i adore and he seems to hate me the most :'(
Seka21 Seka21 8 years
Im the baby and the closet of my 4 siblings (plus 2 step siblings) is 17 years older then me. They all hate me
valancyjane valancyjane 8 years
I'm SO thankful that my brother (younger) and I get along. We're not super-close, because we live halfway across the country from each other, but when I do get to talk to him or see him, things are very easy-going and open. We each know about some dumb stuff the other has done, and we're able to talk about our romantic relationships a little bit and let each other in on the not-so-great stuff that our parents would NEVER hear about. At times I have felt a little bit of jealousy because my mom praises him to me so much. He deserves the praise - he is a great guy - but I wonder if she would praise me this much when talking to him! But that has to do w/ my relationship with my mom more than anything else.
queenegg queenegg 8 years
I don't have any sibling rivalry with my brother or sister. They are four and five years yonger than me respectively. Some people attribute this to the fact that our mother raised them and my father's parents raised me. However, I think that we went through a lot of traumatic things growing up, so we have never needed to fight with each other as much as we've needed the support of each other. It was even alright when my sister and I graduated from college on the same day. Yes, it's pretty crazy, but hey, it works.
ilanac13 ilanac13 8 years
i think that some level of rivalry is ok - but when it get's out of hand you risk making minor things much more important. i do'nt have any rivalry in the common sense in my family since i'm tne only girl and i'm very different from all of my brothers - but i do think that in the sense of marriage/kids etc, there's a little bit of it going on. my oldest brother got married a few years ago and has a new baby - and it seems like there's a bit of rivalry there since i'm now engaged and planning things. oh's healthy i suppose as long as we don't take the focus off what's important. we're family and we should enjoy in eachother's successes.
Lovely_1 Lovely_1 8 years
It happens...I was the oldest out of my sister and brother too and we definatly had our battles. My brother and I got along pretty good most times, but my sister...whoa. She was just a very violient soul! She lashed out a lot and was very aggressive! Now that we're older, we get along a lot better...but we still have a screaming match here and there...
sonya-ina sonya-ina 8 years
I have 1 older sister and she tortured me growing up. Well, maybe torture is a strong word, but she made my life VERY difficult. She ALWAYS made sure to give me a hard time, no matter what was going on. I resented her for a long time, but I'm not one to hold a grudge. I now live 8 hours away from her and I think our relationship is the strongest it's ever been. Ultimately I think we grew out of it (for the most part), but she still knows how to push my buttons. I love her, nonetheless.
lilCROAT03 lilCROAT03 8 years
my bro is way older than me and married a woman i can't stand, who yelled at me in front of my whole family for no reason (um bc she's a crazy bitch maybe?) he once told my fiance to run away from me bc i'm a 'cold snake', so i don't think we're going to be on speaking terms for a while. he sent me an EMAIL for my bday. chyeah. thnx bro.
Melo-D Melo-D 8 years
I'm the youngest and we're all 5-6 years apart from each other. So there wasn't much sibling rivalry. Well honestly, there was/is no sibling rivalry. My parents never allowed that. I couldn't imagine our house if we fought all the time. Lol. My brothers got beat enough as it was by their own actions. To add fighting on top of that. HA! That would really be asking for it. But hey, we love each other like nothing else. Besides, I was not going to get beat over fighting. lol
lickety-split lickety-split 8 years
i totally don't get it. not having any siblings it makes no sense to me. why wouldn't you want the worlds most rockin sister or brother? why would their success threanen you? as a parent i can tell you that it doesn't matter what a child's achievements are you love them more than words could say. i have a severely disabled child who at 10 functions at the level of an 18 month old and 2 typically developing children. when one of the typically developing children gets competitive or upset over her sisters accomplishments i say something like "you have a sister who will never be able to read or write. i should think you'd be proud of the one who got an award for it". then they say "yeah. but tell her that too". like i said, i don't get it.
californiagirlx7 californiagirlx7 8 years
My sisters and I fight from time to time, but it is never about anything TOO terrible. My youngest sister and I don't fight that often and it's never about anything serious, but I will get into arguments with my middle sister on a routine basis because I am overprotective of her (since I'm the oldest girl in the family and I take on the "mom" role) and she always wants the same privileges that I have as the oldest. My mom's siblings are not close at all and they fight all the time, while my mom was mostly the neutral child (until she died), and my dad is only close with one of his half-siblings out of the 10 kids in his family (he has 7 half-siblings, 1 brother, and 1 sister). I never want it to be that way with my sisters so I always try to make sure that we communicate, tell each other when we're upset, say "I love you", "I forgive you" and so on.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 8 years
Based on my experience and observation, I think sibling rivalry (or any relationship rivalry) is unhealthy. My sister and I do NOT have any rivalry between us. We root for each other, and we're loving and supportive. We want the best for each other, and we're thrilled when the other is doing well. Likewise, if one us is hurt or suffering from some misfortune, the other is hurt, too, and try to share in the burden. Rivalry?? Hell no. We're on the same team. :)
Muirnea Muirnea 8 years
"Everything in moderation." That is my all time perfect saying that applies to EVERY SINGLE THING in life...EVER. I think it's only good when it stays friendly, when people start getting serious about it, or upset when they don't "win", then that's bad. My sister and I are VERY VERY VERY VERY (times infinity) different, so there is a lot of rivalry there, and we are not in a good place because of it right now. It's better to put the rivalry aside sometimes and just be friends and act like family.
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