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Why Do Some Men Not Want to Have Children?

Why Some Men Choose to Stay Child Free

Ted Cox got a vasectomy when he was 28. His mom cried, and some women won't date him, but the eldest child of seven is proud of his decision to remain childless. He says the desire to never have kids hit him in college, when he realized "instead of spending Saturday mornings watching Ted Jr. strike out at Little League games, I'd much rather watch those Japanese contestants humiliate themselves on TV."

For an article for the Good Men Project, Cox decided to look into why other men remain childless by choice. He found that while women face more stigma, both genders give the same reasons for not having kids. The top four reasons, which are the same among men and women, are the following:

  1. "I love our life, our relationship, as it is, and having a child won't enhance it."
  2. "I do not want to take on the responsibility of raising a child."
  3. "I have no desire to have a child, no maternal or paternal instinct."
  4. "I want to accomplish things in life that would be difficult if I were a parent."

Do you know any men who don't want to have kids?

Image Source: Thinkstock
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danakscully64 danakscully64 5 years
^^^ But at the same time, if you can't support them and expect your family to when things go bad, that's not right and shouldn't be tolerated. My sister has 4 and ever since baby #2, she's always had to get financial help from others. She's been living with my parents for almost a year now with 4 kids, expecting everyone to be her nanny and maid. My sister made a post on her blog 2 years ago about people not approving of her having more kids (ranting).... yet my parents have shelled out thousands they didn't have since last March to take care of her and her kids (diapers, baby food, regular food, car insurance, gas, repairs, clothes, Christmas gifts, school supplies, medical costs, have lost sleep with crying babies, the whole shebang). She's talking about getting married again and having another child. Really. I don't think it's right for people to have a litter when they can't support them. The Duggars have 19, but they take care of their kids. That shouldn't be encouraged or tolerated.
lizlee89 lizlee89 5 years
I have no problem with anyone who doesn't want kids nor do I think anyone should if they don't want to. I do, however, have a huge problem with anyone who thinks that people who want to have more than one child or even a whole bunch are freaks - if you want your life decision to be tolerated than you need to be just as tolerant of others'. Wanting to have a family and love children, whether one or 18 is a wonderful thing; if you don't like it, keep it to yourself...
danakscully64 danakscully64 5 years
I personally don't see the appeal of having kids and I don't understand those who condemn those who don't want them.
lynbird lynbird 5 years
Why should people who don't want children be looked down upon? At this point in my life (and it could change, I'm in my late 20s) I have no desire for children. Period. By the same logic, society should be able to look down upon women who do want children, and last time I checked, it didn't. It applauds them.
totygoliguez totygoliguez 5 years
I personally don't want kids. I'm just not willing to sacrifice anything for anyone. I want a life with as few responsibilities as possible. It is a choice people make and is nobody's business.
Natalie-Love Natalie-Love 5 years
I don't think people need to justify the reasons they don't want children. Some people want kids, some people don't. Easy as that.It shouldn't be expected of everyone. I think I would rather not have children, but I am not sure if I might want them in 10 years or so. I'll have to wait and see. I hate when people expect it of me, though!
Epicdoodle Epicdoodle 5 years
In the future I definitely want children, being a mother is something I really do want to experience in life and for me any sacrifices would be worth it. However if you don't want kids and don't see your self as a parents I fully respect your decision and applaud you for not falling under social pressure to have children. I don't think people who don't want kids should be forced to have kids, its not selfish, they're kinda doing that that unborn child a favour. A child is so much better of with someone who's ready to be a parent, who wants to be a parent and won't mind sacrificing their child free lifestyle to raise that child.
Girl-Jen Girl-Jen 5 years
I know men who don't want kids, I know women who don't want kids. I have one kid and don't want any *more* kids. This is a decision that is not made lightly, nor is it anything that can (or should!) be changed easily. When I hear that someone doesn't want kids, only wants one, or wants to be the next Duggar family, I know that is a mindset that I will NOT be changing.
bethinabox bethinabox 5 years
I also don't understand why people who choose not to have kids are looked down on and/or questioned. I myself DO want kids, but I know that not everyone would want them. I understand completely, especially the whole "my life is going to change completely" thing--There are a lot of things that I wouldn't want to give up, but I think personally having a child could make those sacrifices worth it. But not everyone has to agree with that. So to those of you who want to remain child-free--good for you. Don't let other people saying otherwise get to you.
Gdeeaz Gdeeaz 5 years
I was just talking about this with one of my co-workers a few days ago. He is 30 years old and doesn't want kids. He was telling me how he loves children but doesn't see himself as a dad. He and I also know several other men who have made the choice to not have kids. I don't want kids either, and our reasons are pretty much the same.
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