It's a known fact (sad as it is) that women can take a while to warm up sexually. It can be frustrating and awkward too when the guy is doing all he can to hold onto his orgasm and the girl is doing all she can to speed it up so it happens.
Here are some ways to take some of the work out of sex.
- If you need to, have a vibrator handy. Hopefully, your man knows by now that your clitoris is equal in sensitivity to the head of his penis. That means that the in and out of sex alone usually isn't enough to stimulate you to orgasm. If you need more stimulation while having sex, let the machine step in to do all the work!
- Masturbate alone. In order to communicate to your partner what gets you excited, you've got to know yourself. Plus if you have orgasms on your own, you won't be so starved for them the next time you have sex.
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- Masturbate together. Sometimes sex is about the orgasm (and there's nothing wrong with that). If you and your man are exhausted because it's taking so long for you to get each other excited, then try touching yourselves. Chances are, you know your bodies best, and you know the quickest and easiest way to climax. Plus it can be a real turn on, so it may speed things up even more.
- Only have sex when you're both really into it. There's no rule about having to make love a certain number of times per week, so if a week's gone by, and you haven't done it yet, don't have sex just for the sake of doing it. Wait until the moment is right and not only will it mean so much more, but your body will be more easily aroused.
- Try not to focus on the orgasm. The whole point of sex is to share the most intimate kind of closeness any two people can share and to show you love one another. If you are driven by orgasm alone, and it's all you're thinking about, the pressure can just be too intense to make it happen. Try to focus on loving each other up - you don't even have to have sex.