Skip Nav
Valentine's Day
To All the Single Women Spending Valentine's Day Alone
Online Dating
20 Times Tumblr Totally Nailed What Dating Is Really Like
Relationships
Kaitlyn Bristowe and Shawn Booth Have Some Excellent Dating Advice For You

Women's Rape Fantasy

The Misnomer of Women's "Rape Fantasy"

AskMen.com ranked rape as the third most popular sexual fantasy for women. "These female sex fantasies usually involve a gorgeous man carrying her off to his bedroom and quickly getting down to business," AskMen says. "She’ll protest as he tears her clothing off and expertly arouses her body, but on the inside, she’ll love every minute of it."

A "gorgeous man" suggests the woman has some kind of choice in the matter, which is hardly the case in real-life rape. Not to mention assault really brings out the worst in even the best-looking guys. But despite having condoms, safe words, and choice, the daydream of forced sex has been dubbed "rape fantasy."

A 2008 article in the Journal of Sex Research analyzed 20 studies on sexual fantasies in the last 30 years and estimated that not only do 31-57 percent of women have so-called rape fantasies, but they are frequent among 9-17 percent. It attributed fantasies to beliefs as negative as buying into male rape culture and as positive as having an open, healthy attitude toward sex.

Tracie Egan made her rape fantasy a reality by hiring a rookie prostitute off Craigslist and wrote about it for Vice magazine. "One Rape Please, to Go" is both a cautionary tale against hiring amateur prostitutes (he fell for her) and evidence that the "rape fantasy" is a misnomer.

When the rookie hooker wanted to "rape" her for free, she insisted on paying. The exchange of money, she said, was necessary to feel in control and comfortable. Even AskMen concedes in another female sexual-fantasy article (there are many) that the rape women fantasize about is consensual. Most likely, it says, women fantasize about someone who's attractive and won't harm them in the act. Sounds like the fantasies are less about rape and more about good sex!

Source: Flickr User Laura Oh Laura

Around The Web
Top Dating Posts on Tumblr
Calendar Girl Book Series | Video
Celebrity Quotes on Sex Scenes
Valentine's Day Lingerie Gift Ideas

POPSUGAR, the #1 independent media and technology company for women. Where more than 75 million women go for original, inspirational content that feeds their passions and interests.

Join The Conversation
Yogaforlife Yogaforlife 6 years
Maybe a dominance fantasy - like they love the idea of initially being helpless. I know I enjoy being held down or pinned down. Every time I have ever wrestled with a boyfriend, it always leads to sex - I love the feeling that they are so much stronger than me.
Yogaforlife Yogaforlife 6 years
Maybe a dominance fantasy - like they love the idea of initially being helpless.I know I enjoy being held down or pinned down. Every time I have ever wrestled with a boyfriend, it always leads to sex - I love the feeling that they are so much stronger than me.
sham28 sham28 6 years
A rape fantasy sounds like it involves fear, fighting, and generally being really upset the whole time. I think what women are really talking about is a resistance fantasy- which equates to more "no no no YES YES YES!"
sham28 sham28 6 years
A rape fantasy sounds like it involves fear, fighting, and generally being really upset the whole time. I think what women are really talking about is a resistance fantasy- which equates to more "no no no YES YES YES!"
Pistil Pistil 6 years
The article was at The Frisky: http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-girl-talk-when-rape-fantasy-becomes-reality/
Pistil Pistil 6 years
The article was at The Frisky: http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-girl-talk-when-rape-fantasy-becomes-reality/
hypnoticmix hypnoticmix 6 years
Well I certainly do not have a females perspective on this but if I may ad my two cents I think feeling dominated to a degree is an important component of good sex for women. Some do like a sense of losing control.
hypnoticmix hypnoticmix 6 years
Well I certainly do not have a females perspective on this but if I may ad my two cents I think feeling dominated to a degree is an important component of good sex for women. Some do like a sense of losing control.
KadBunny KadBunny 6 years
I agree with SKG; there's something incredibly hot about being pinned down and taken over in bed (not that I let him overpower me the <i>whole</i> time :P). Though, I imagine it must be tricky to do rape fantasies with someone you hardly know 'cause even if you scream no, when the other person is caught in the moment it'd be very difficult to distinguish whether the girl is just playing along or really wants him to stop.
KadBunny KadBunny 6 years
I agree with SKG; there's something incredibly hot about being pinned down and taken over in bed (not that I let him overpower me the whole time :P). Though, I imagine it must be tricky to do rape fantasies with someone you hardly know 'cause even if you scream no, when the other person is caught in the moment it'd be very difficult to distinguish whether the girl is just playing along or really wants him to stop.
Pistil Pistil 6 years
I read a blog entry somewhere not too long ago (it might have been linked from Tres). This woman was blogging about how she had mentioned briefly her rape fantasy to a guy she had been dating, and he attempted to fulfill this fantasy of hers, but not in the way she had imagined it. There was a big debate in the comments about who was at fault. His intent wasn't malicious, and it was really just poor communication, but yes, I think using 'rape' to describe this sort of fantasy should be reconsidered.
xgreenfairyx xgreenfairyx 6 years
Lol, wow. What a crap definition....'tears her clothes of and expertly arouses her body'...yeah, because that equates to rape :-p If ANYONE is tearing my clothes off, its because I know they'll pay for news ones. As far as what people want in a 'rape fantasy'....well, whatever floats your boat. I think its more about incredible tension and unrestrained passions (a la romance novel) than 'rape'. I like how some men sum it up in an act of violence rather than seeing it as pleasing a woman :-p Weak.
xgreenfairyx xgreenfairyx 6 years
Lol, wow. What a crap definition....'tears her clothes of and expertly arouses her body'...yeah, because that equates to rape :-p If ANYONE is tearing my clothes off, its because I know they'll pay for news ones.As far as what people want in a 'rape fantasy'....well, whatever floats your boat. I think its more about incredible tension and unrestrained passions (a la romance novel) than 'rape'. I like how some men sum it up in an act of violence rather than seeing it as pleasing a woman :-p Weak.
Latest Love
X