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Word du Jour: Boss Lady

Perhaps it’s too early to reclaim a word that has yet to enter the lexicon the way “b*tch” did, but I would argue “boss lady” comes close.

It’s dating expert Rachel Greenwald’s word for a successful woman who doesn’t tone down her confident and opinionated self on dates. If you're a boss lady, according to Greenwald, it's the number one reason “he didn’t call you back.” (Oh, brother.)

The author of (you guessed it) Why He Didn’t Call You Back, interviewed thousands of apparently insecure men who told her this was the number-one type of woman they would never call back. So, uh, that means if you’re a boss lady — pretend to be someone you’re not in order to snag someone who doesn’t like who you are!

This proud boss lady right here says — good riddance to a man who needs to me say “I think” and “maybe” so he doesn’t shrink in fear. (Are we living in the ‘50s?) I've dated plenty of men who loved my moxie, and the best dating advice I can think of is "Be yourself!" Other gems of advice from Greenwald? Dress like a woman (whatever that means), don’t state too many opinions, and don’t text on your BlackBerry before your date arrives lest he sees you’re busy and (egads!) are gainfully employed.

Are you a boss lady? Would you revert to ‘50s-era ideals of femininity so that he calls you back?

Image Source: Getty
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dikke-kus dikke-kus 7 years
Well to be honest I have seen this problem. You don't have to act, just be polite and use some courtesy that's all. Do you want to appear as a loud obnoxious mouthy broad or a nice young lady? I had an old roommate with this issue. I used to call her the Maneater. She would dominate all conversations. She was loud, and pushy when she drank. She was always right. She was always correcting you over this statement or that. How she knew the latest on everything and always had two open tickets to a concert somewhere. Her flirtations were eye winking, growling, and big laughs about what type of underwear they had on...she just came on too strong. One time she grabbed a guys uh, well private parts through his jeans at a bar. Real charming huh? It usually ended up back to her big condo in her fabulous jacuzzi. Then they would run out the door in the morning unless she bit their heads off like a preying mantis in bed. Who knows. I didn't think it was my place to say anything since she knew it all anyway. She's still single.
dikke-kus dikke-kus 7 years
Well to be honest I have seen this problem. You don't have to act, just be polite and use some courtesy that's all. Do you want to appear as a loud obnoxious mouthy broad or a nice young lady? I had an old roommate with this issue. I used to call her the Maneater. She would dominate all conversations. She was loud, and pushy when she drank. She was always right. She was always correcting you over this statement or that. How she knew the latest on everything and always had two open tickets to a concert somewhere. Her flirtations were eye winking, growling, and big laughs about what type of underwear they had on...she just came on too strong. One time she grabbed a guys uh, well private parts through his jeans at a bar. Real charming huh? It usually ended up back to her big condo in her fabulous jacuzzi. Then they would run out the door in the morning unless she bit their heads off like a preying mantis in bed. Who knows. I didn't think it was my place to say anything since she knew it all anyway. She's still single.
KimBurnett KimBurnett 7 years
You young girls are so backward; Tres you are not, you are right, thanks for this article. Feminism, which was for white women anyway, didn't work and it's just dead. There is a whole generation and more of women who are so clueless to themselves and so willing to give all their power to feed the dumb steroetypes in this culture. Wake up and grow up, please. We need to be respected as people first and foremost just like men are. It's good to be bossy. We HAVE to be bossy to get amything done as women anyway even with a man in your life.
KimBurnett KimBurnett 7 years
You young girls are so backward; Tres you are not, you are right, thanks for this article.Feminism, which was for white women anyway, didn't work and it's just dead. There is a whole generation and more of women who are so clueless to themselves and so willing to give all their power to feed the dumb steroetypes in this culture. Wake up and grow up, please. We need to be respected as people first and foremost just like men are. It's good to be bossy. We HAVE to be bossy to get amything done as women anyway even with a man in your life.
totygoliguez totygoliguez 7 years
I think that as long as you are not intimidating, or a complete bitch you will be fine.
Marci Marci 7 years
It's all about finding the right guy; whether you're the boss lady or not. We just have to kiss a lot of frogs until the guy who loves us for who we are - be it the strong boss lady or the mellow receptionist .
leslievanhouten leslievanhouten 7 years
my comment was flagged. why is that?
Angela123 Angela123 7 years
You're damn right I'm a boss lady!! And proud of it. My man, while he may not love it, has come to accept it.
leslievanhouten leslievanhouten 7 years
hmm, I'm of two minds of this. This book has been blogged about everywhere. From previous excerpts I've read, it seemed like the advice given for "boss lady" was to just not act like you're at work. My boyfriend told me about an experience he had on match. He took a woman out, who was nice enough...but never called her again after. She called him two weeks later, asking why he didn't want to follow up. His response: he felt like he was at an interview and the job was potential husband/father. She just kept asking him pointed and direct questions. I totally get that and I think it's great advice to just be nice on a date. On the other hand, the video on YourTango was just horribly retrogressive. Besides, my boyfriend thinks it's hot when I wear my power suit...a tailored suit and heels are hot.
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