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You Asked: Am I Overreacting About Their Cat Connection?

Dear Sugar,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about six months, and he's been sharing custody of his cat with his ex-girlfriend throughout our entire relationship. I am all for loving your animal like part of the family, but this is just driving me crazy. The cat travels back and forth between the two of them, which means they are constantly connected. I have told him that this bothers me, but he thinks I'm being crazy and insecure. He constantly reassures me that he's over her, but it's really starting to affect our relationship, and I want to fix it before it's too late. What should I say or do? — Jealous Jessica

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Dear Jealous Jessica,

Sharing custody of an animal can definitely be tricky after a breakup, and yes, it means that both owners are in constant contact. But no matter how uncomfortable it makes you feel, you're going to have to get used to it if you want this relationship to work. While it's easy to jump to conclusions about their constant communication, try to put yourself in their shoes — wouldn't you do whatever it took to spend time with your beloved animal?

I'm glad you told your boyfriend how you feel, but I think it would be best of you two had a deeper conversation about it. He's discredited your feelings, so my advice to you is to think about what would make you feel more secure about their situation and then explain your position to him. Hopefully he'll be able to take your side into consideration, and on the flip side, hopefully you'll be able to see that this really is about the animal, not the ex-girlfriend. Good luck to you.


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