I recently broke up with my boyfriend of seven months. I found out that he was lying to me about something very big: stealing and addiction. What hurt even more was the fact that I gave him two chances to come clean, but he instead made me feel like a horrible girlfriend for doubting him. The reason I confronted him twice was because I knew the real story, unbeknownst to him. He finally confessed and I broke up with him.
Five days later we met up, talked, and I got back together with him. Pretty soon I realized I hadn't forgiven him for what he had done and told him that I had made a mistake and that we needed to break up once and for all. I'm pretty upset about the whole thing, but I know he's heartbroken. I really miss him and I'm confused, but most of my friends are telling me I did the right thing. What do you think? — Did I Jump the Gun Jenny
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Dear Did I Jump the Gun Jenny,
Two of the main ingredients to make a relationship work are trust and honesty. Your boyfriend wasn't able to bring either of those traits to the table, so I agree with your friends — breaking up was the right decision. In my book, bold-face lying to the people you love is absolutely unacceptable. Being involved with someone who is an addict and a thief will only lead to a life of more dishonesty so I'm so glad you nipped this in the bud within the first seven months.
Breaking up is always hard, especially if you still love the person, but it's important to remember why you broke up with him in the first place. Of course you miss him, seven months is a long time to date someone, but you should be proud of yourself for standing your ground. Time is a great healer Jenny and in the meantime, do what makes you happy. Hang out with your friends, go shopping, exercise, read, anything to get your mind off the breakup. I hope I was able to help you realize that you did the right thing, and good luck to you.