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You Asked: Can I Call Dibs on a Wedding Dress Even Though I'm Not Engaged?

You Asked: Can I Call Dibs on a Wedding Dress Even Though I'm Not Engaged?

Dear Sugar,

Like a lot of girls out there, I have already figured out what kind of wedding I want even though there's no groom just yet! Well, my close friend is getting married and while surfing some of the more popular wedding planning websites, I showed her my "dream" dress. She fell in love with it too and now says that it's her "dream" dress as well.

I know I don't own the dress or the design, and that anyone can buy it, but I can't help but feel shocked, crushed, and even betrayed by her. Granted I am not getting married anytime soon, but when it comes to wedding dresses, I often hear women say, "You'll know it's the one when you see it" and I KNOW! What should I do? Should I say something or am I crazy for thinking this way? — Jumping the Gun Gwen

To see DearSugar's answer

Dear Jumping the Gun Gwen,

I don't think you're crazy for feeling like you've found your dress — I've said that too a few times with no engagement ring in sight — but one thing to remember is your gown will most likely change depending on the groom and the location of your wedding. Also, keep in mind that trends change as the years go on so if you're not planning on getting married any time in the near future, what you think is your dream dress now might actually be something completely different in a few years.

With that said, I understand how frustrating it must be for your friend to hijack your dream gown. Just because she's getting married first doesn't give her the right to take away something you've always wanted, but you're right — you don't own the dress just yet. While you have every right to be irritated, make sure this is a fight worth fighting before bringing it up. You can also look at this situation another way; if this dress does remain your dream dress, when it's your turn to walk down the aisle, use hers — it sure will save you a lot of money!


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