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You Asked: Can I Pick Out My Own Ring?

Dear Sugar,

A few months ago my boyfriend informally asked me to marry him (he said he'll surprise me with a formal proposal later). I said yes, and we've been talking about the details ever since. We've decided on a location and time of year, and I picked a dress. Really the only thing we haven't talked about is the ring.

I've had my eye on a ring for quite a while. It's a vintage ring I found online, and it's one-of-a-kind and very affordable. Would it be totally tacky to tell him it's what I want? Obviously, I would be beyond happy even if he picked out something on his own, but I really love this ring. Help! — I've Got My Mind Set Michelle

To see Dear Sugar's answer

Dear I've Got My Mind Set Michelle,

An engagement/wedding ring is a special token of affection that you will wear for your entire marriage, so it's important that you love it. Do you know if your boyfriend has already begun shopping for rings? Does he know the style you like? It sounds like you have already mapped out every other aspect of this engagement, so if I were you, I'd tell him about this ring you found.

It would be one thing, Michelle, if you were oohing and aahing over a ring that was out of his price range, but if it's reasonable, and you love it, you should have it! Many couples shop for the engagement ring together, and I am sure your boyfriend wants you to be happy with the ring you wear everyday. So one night when you're on the computer, show him what you found, ask him what he thinks, and play the conversation by ear – I am sure everything will fall right into place.

Congratulations on your engagement and good luck!


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