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You Asked: Christmas Card Etiquette

Dear Sugar,

In the midst of sending out this year's holiday cards, I came upon my ex's address. We no longer talk to each other, but there are several people I'm sending cards to that I don't talk to either. Would it be etiquettely correct to send him one? — Looking Back Betsy

To see Dear Sugar's answer

Dear Looking Back Betsy —

If you want to send your ex a Christmas card, by all means do so! Why not? The holidays are a great time to reconnect with old friends, so I say spread the holiday cheer! With that said, if you're trying to open the door to the past, don't be let down if your efforts aren't returned. Since you're no longer in contact, you have no idea what his life is all about now. He could be in a serious relationship or no longer living at the same address. I say give it a try, but be realistic about the situation. Merry Christmas!

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cocca cocca 8 years
this holiday, i thought about sending one too to my ex or simply greet him a happy holiday via text or e-mail, but then i thought... why??? i haven't spoken to him in years! it would be weird and what if he gets mixed messages... hmmm... i wouldn't risk it...
mlmoreno47 mlmoreno47 8 years
I wouldn't send it. If you hadn't happened upon his address would you still want to? I doubt it. Save the stamp for a postcard for your Grandmother to send in a month! Way more productive!
jennifer76 jennifer76 8 years
I don't see any problem with sending a nice holiday wish to someone who was special to you. If his girlfriend is so insanely jealous that a Christmas card from you would flip her out, that's her own issue to work through.
MandyJoBo MandyJoBo 8 years
No. We send cards because they are a nice surprise for someone ELSE. Do you really think he's going to be overjoyed that you sent him a Christmas card? If so, then do it. I have a feeling this is more about you wanting to connect with him again, or at least say, "Hi - remember me?" Christmas is not the time for that.
sofi sofi 8 years
this is not about etiquette- those others you don't talk to but you still send cards to are hopefully people you do want to talk to again if given the opportunity? Unless you want a friendly relationship with him and still care about him- don't send one, but in no way do you have to because you happen to find his address.
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 8 years
You're not even friends, why bother? Seriously, sometimes it's better to leave well enough alone.
DesirexNoel DesirexNoel 8 years
If you are sending JUST a seasons greetings. If my bf got one from an ex, I wouldn't be thrilled about it, but I would get over it fast. If he got one saying I want to talk to you more. I miss you. Blah blah blah, I would probably be responding myself!
bettyboutique bettyboutique 8 years
i say it depends on the relationship u had with the x and how things ended i mean it is christmas and it is JUST a card i say do what u feel is right
sugarbritches sugarbritches 8 years
I'm a leave sleeping dogs lie kinda girl so I wouldn't send the card. There's a reason you're not in touch anymore. And I would bet that the friends you don't talk to regularly you didn't have some big breakup before you quit talking. Save the stamp for someone else.
sparklestar sparklestar 8 years
No... that's a whole world of NO.
TASTEthiss TASTEthiss 8 years
im with popgoestheworld
TASTEthiss TASTEthiss 8 years
im with popgoestheworld
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 8 years
I don't think etiquette is an issue here.If you want to start a friendship or relationship with this ex, you can send the card. If you don't, or, more importantly, if you think HE doesn't, then please don't send a card.
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 8 years
I don't think etiquette is an issue here. If you want to start a friendship or relationship with this ex, you can send the card. If you don't, or, more importantly, if you think HE doesn't, then please don't send a card.
onesong onesong 8 years
I agree 100% with dear! Don't have any expectations, just spread the holiday cheer. Erratic-assassin...I'm with you on the ugh, but that's kind of a different story. An actual present? To the MOM?? How tacky and desperate! Ugh is right!! But a quick card that says "seasons greetings"...eh I can't say I'd be thrilled if my bf got one from one of his exes, but it wouldn't super bug me either.
Greggie Greggie 8 years
I don't know if there's a specific etiquette for it. If you want to send it, send it. I think a sincere happy wish is a good thing.
erratic-assassin erratic-assassin 8 years
dont do it. If he's dating someone, it might piss off his girlfriend. ugh, my bf's ex did that this weekend...sent my bf's mom a bday present...ugh!! what nerve. they haven't spoken to her in over a year.
erratic-assassin erratic-assassin 8 years
dont do it. If he's dating someone, it might piss off his girlfriend.ugh, my bf's ex did that this weekend...sent my bf's mom a bday present...ugh!! what nerve. they haven't spoken to her in over a year.
Lovely_1 Lovely_1 8 years
Haha I am still friends with some of my exes (well id on't see them but every once in awhile we talk) and I sent them one too :)
acemonkey acemonkey 8 years
I wouldn't send one. Don't waste your stamp.
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