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You Asked: Did Having Sex Ruin Our Relationship?

Dear Sugar,

I need help making sense out of this situation. I had three great dates with this guy — three dates within the timespan of five days! We were really hitting it off and he was signaling that he was interested in something more. We didn't kiss on our first date, or our second date, (he only kissed my cheek) but on our third date, we were hanging out at his place and the next thing I knew, we were having sex. It was completely casual, nothing weird happened, and it was overall a nice experience. He was really sweet with me after — he helped me put my coat on and kissed me goodnight. That date was last Tuesday. I haven't received a single phone call, text message, or instant message from him since. I'm really confused and now I'm thinking that somehow us having sex on our third date has suddenly freaked him out. I need help sorting this all out! What should I do? — Puzzled Paulina

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Dear Puzzled Paulina,

I wish I could tell you exactly why he's gone MIA, but unfortunately, I can only make assumptions just like you. Since you went on three dates in less than a week, I'd assume he was interested, too. But to be brutally honest, Paulina, it sounds like he was more concerned with having sex with you than starting a relationship.

Since he's cut off the communication, the only thing you can do is try to put him behind you. His intentions were unfortunately not what you thought they were, and as upsetting as that may be, be glad you found this out about him sooner rather than later. Accepting his decision won't be easy, so lean on your friends and family if you need support. In the meantime, the best thing you can do is get yourself back out there again. Good luck!


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