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You Asked: Did I Cheat?

Dear Sugar,

I wanted to know if it's OK to "cheat" on your guy when you first start dating but aren't exclusive yet. We've been seeing each other for a few weeks and one night I went out with some girlfriends and kissed a guy I was dancing with. I didn't feel guilty per se since we hadn't labeled our relationship yet, but just last night we had "the talk" and decided that we didn't want to see other people. I guess what I am asking is, is what I did wrong and is it worth telling him, or should I just keep it in the past and forget about it? Is telling him just going to cause more harm than good? It was just one kiss with someone I didn't even know, so is that considered cheating? — I Needed the Label Laurie

To see Dear Sugar's answer

Dear I Needed the Label Laurie,

If you and your boyfriend were not exclusive when you kissed this other man, than technically you weren't cheating on him. With that said, you have to ask yourself how your boyfriend is going to feel when/if he finds out you were still keeping one eye open.

Relationships are all about trust so if I were you, I would tell him. Starting the relationship out on the right foot will set the standard moving forward. You want your boyfriend to trust you, and while you say he was a total stranger, this is a small world and I can guarantee that your boyfriend will be hurt and disappointed if he hears this news from someone else. Ask yourself how you would feel if the roles were reversed — would you want to know?

Honesty is the best policy so I advise you to lay everything out on the table. Be prepared though for him to be a little upset; even though you didn't technically cheat, he's bound to feel the blow to his ego so give him the reassurance he needs and try not to dwell on the past. Good luck to you.


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