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You Asked: Do We Have a Chance?


Dear Sugar,

I met a really great guy about three years ago. He's from another country and was in my city for a couple days because of work. We talked for a while and exchanged emails. We've now spent these years writing to each other and getting to know each other well, until last year when he suddenly stopped contacting me. Last month I found out he was coming here again (work keeps him traveling) so I wrote to him. He confirmed this and said we should meet up. We got together for drinks and had a blast — it was amazing! We spent all night talking. I realized I have true feelings for him, and dare I say, he likes me, too. But it's complicated as we live over 6,000 miles away.

Anyway, he left the next day and it's been a week and I haven't heard from him. As I was the one to ask him if he was coming over, I don't know if I should be the first to write again. But I don't want to lose him. I know he finds me attractive and he did say we had a lot in common. We both didn't want to say goodbye and hoped to meet again. He even said I was welcome to visit him anytime and that his family knew about me. Sometimes I think it's all in my head but sometimes I think this guy's for me and that he feels that too but he's unsure because of the distance. What do I do?

— Miles Apart Megs

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear Miles Apart Megs,

Well, those kind of miles certainly take the term long-distance relationship to a whole new level, but it's certainly possible if you're both committed and as long as there is an end in sight. Obviously, there is a connection between the two of you if you've managed to stay in touch for so many years, and if you get the vibe that he has feelings for you, then you're probably right. But it does sound as if he doesn't see the possibility of a relationship as a reality because of the distance or another concern.

Normally, I might tell you to just move on and meet someone within driving distance, but you sound passionate and it's always worth trying. So reach out to him and tell him what an amazing time you had, and that you're afraid you'll lose him. Yes, it's taking a risk, but why not? He lives around the world — you have nothing to lose. If his reaction is casual and withdrawn, it'll be clear that he just wants to be friends. But there's always the hope that it will open up the doors to something more. Either way, at least you'll have your answer.

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