I'm a 47-year-old woman and I've only had sex with my first love — my husband of 31 years. The reason I'm writing is to ask if it's normal to only be able to climax in one position. I can only orgasm when I'm on top which makes me think I'm missing out on so many other fun positions. Do you have any suggestions to help bring excitement back to our sex life? — On Top Tatiana
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Dear On Top Tatiana,
The ability to orgasm is different for everyone. Some people can reach the big O through any position, some through a select few, and others have yet to experience it at all. Just because you can only climax on top (which is by no means a defeat), it doesn't mean you can't experiment and enjoy other positions before climaxing.
Practice makes perfect when it comes to finding how your body works so do some exploration — by yourself and with your husband. I'd also recommend relaxing — if you get too caught up in thinking about it, you'll psych yourself out. If you want to spice things up, perhaps introduce a sex toy into your lovemaking, or experiment with new places to get it on — sometimes a simple change of scenery can do the trick. At the end of the day, if being on top works best for you, I say just embrace it!