Skip Nav

You Asked: Everyone Around Me Is Getting Engaged but Me!

Dear Sugar—

It's definitely that time of year -- suddenly all the long-term couples I know are getting engaged. I've heard story after story about the oh so romantic proposals. I really am happy for them, but it does sting. One couple is on the younger side (23) and that stung even more because my boyfriend and I are a few years older and have been dating for years. I really feel ready for us to take that step, and it's frustrating to hear these stories when it is something that I really want for us.

I've talked to my boyfriend about our future very recently, and we both agreed we do want to get married, and he reassured me that he loves me and it will happen, but he takes this very seriously and wants to feel 100% ready for that step; so for now, I just have to wait it out. But it doesn't make it any easier on me when I hear about all these these other men getting down on one knee while my guy isn't quite there yet. It feels impossible to ignore! Any advice to get my mind off of it and relax? --Perturbed Penelope

To see DearSugar's answer

Dear Perturbed Penelope--

You're absolutely not alone here Penelope. It can be extremely disheartening when all your friends are getting engaged but you, but it sounds as though you are in a great relationship of your own! Getting engaged is a huge step, so although it seems to be happening to everyone around you, be patient, your time will come too.

I can't express enough to you how important being "ready" is. Pressuring your boyfriend into marriage is just going to cause resentment and or fighting in your relationship so I think your boyfriend's right, you're just going to have to wait it out until the time is right.

One thing I have learned is that elaborate engagement stories and romantic wedding weekends might not be all they're cracked up to be after all. Sometimes, a bunch of fluff is just a cover up on a not so perfect partnership, so if I were you, I would focus on enjoying your boyfriend and the connection you have now as boyfriend and girlfriend, and eventually, if it's right and meant to be, everything will fall into place.

In the meantime, since it is summer time, enjoy the sunshine!! Get outside, go to the beach, take a trip with your boyfriend or your girl friends, read a great book, or do whatever makes you happy. I am sure your looming engagement will remain in the back of your mind, that is only natural, but try to just enjoy yourself this summer and keep faith that when the time is right, it will happen for you. Good luck.


Latest Love
Looking for the perfect gift this holiday season? Order our POPSUGAR Must Have box now >>