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You Asked: He Hasn't Called in Over a Week

You Asked: He Hasn't Called in Over a Week

Dear Sugar,

I recently met a great guy (on We spent hours talking on the phone and he finally flew out to meet me. Our first date went really well. It was awkward at first, since I was a little taller than him, but the chemistry was definitely there. I dropped him off at his hotel and he invited me up to his room. At first we talked a while and then we ended up making out, very passionately. I told him we couldn't have sex and he respected that, and I finally went back to my house.

We were supposed to meet up the next day and he said he would call. I waited all day and no phone call. Finally in the evening, he called but since I was annoyed that he didn't call earlier, I didn't pick up. He left a message saying he was sorry, that he had to meet up with some friends, and that I should call him when I had the chance. I called him a couple of hours later, but he didn't answer and I didn't leave a message. It's been over a week and I haven't heard from him. What gives? Did he not see that I called? Do you think it had something to do with the fact that I wouldn't sleep with him? By the way, he didn't pay for the lunch or the movie.

—Very Annoyed Anna

To see Dear Sugar's answer

Dear Very Annoyed Anna,

You may be thinking that there's a slight possibility that he didn't realize you called him back because you didn't leave a message, but if he really wanted to see you, he would have called you again, don't you think?

When first getting to know someone, it's important to be honest with each other, so you should NOT feel guilty for telling him you didn't want to have sex. Yes, if you made plans to hang out, he should have called you, but it sounds like you are playing the same game he is by ignoring his call. At the end of the day, if you think this could turn into something special, be the bigger woman and call him. Find out what he's thinking and feeling, see if he wants to pursue this relationship, and if not, at least you know where he stands once and for all. Good luck.


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