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You Asked: Is He Sincere?

Dear Sugar,

I met this really amazing guy about two months ago, and we hit it off extremely well. Soon after I met him we both exchanged pieces of rather fragile information. I have an STI, and he is a virgin. It was kind of awkward after he told me, because it felt like totally opposite situations. I'm a very affectionate girl and he wasn't used to that either.

He told me the other night that he was ready to sleep with me but I don't know how to react. I don't know if I'm ready, not because I don't care about him but because I don't believe that he's ready. I think he just wants to get it over with, and it doesn't matter if it's with me or any other girl. I really want it to be special for him. How do I tell if he's sincere?

— Uncertain About Sex Sasha

To see DearSugar's answer,


Dear Uncertain About Sex Sasha,

You're dating a guy who you have a good connection with so it's really no surprise to me that he wants to have sex with you. Though I hear your concerns that he's just out to have sex with someone, if that were the case, I'd guess he would have had sex already. Instead, he's waited until he feels comfortable enough with you, which has included opening up about his virginity and learning about your STI. Now if you're not ready to have sex with him that's totally fine — just because you've had sex before doesn't mean that you have to be ready now — but don't be afraid to have this conversation with him. Let him in on your worries, and see if there's something you can do together to make you feel more secure, though more time might be just the thing. If he is sincere, then he'll be OK waiting for you. Once you're both ready and you guys have discussed STI prevention and testing, go for it!


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