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You Asked: He Was Too Honest With Me

Dear Sugar,

I met and fell in love with a great guy and we've been together for a little over a year now. Everything is wonderful and we don't have many problems except for the occasional disagreement. But recently, he told me that when we first became official, and I was finally "his girl" that other women became 10 times more attractive to him. Everywhere he went, women were enhanced and they seemed much sexier in his eyes; even woman who aren't usually his type. I was hurt when he told me this, and I haven't been able to let it go. He keeps telling me it was just a comment he made in passing and he would never make advances on anyone, but his comment is making me insecure. Is it normal for guys who are in loving relationships to find random women desirable? — Confused Constance

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Dear Confused Constance,

I think all men find attractive women attractive — it's just human nature — except most men probably wouldn't tell their girlfriends outright! Since he did, he has to understand why you'd be insecure (I'm sure he'd feel the same way if you told him you were fancying other men). So if you need to talk it out with him until you have a better understanding of what he meant, or if you need him to make you feel safer in your relationship, ask for for it.

Though I don't know your boyfriend's intentions, I highly doubt he meant to purposely hurt your feelings. It sounds like he made a comment to you that should have been directed to a guy friend, so try and just take it with a grain of salt. If he's never given you a reason to doubt him, I wouldn't start now — I'm sure the forbidden fruit is simply looking sweeter, that's all. I hope this helps.


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