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You Asked: He Wants Sex Late at Night

Dear Sugar--

I went to a bar with some friends about a month ago and met this great guy, the bartender actually. He asked for my number that night and we’ve been dating ever since. Our relationship is amazing. We have a lot in common, he makes me laugh, helps fix things around my apartment, is so sweet with my baby niece, and we have the MOST amazing mind-blowing sex – hands down, the best I’ve ever had!

The only problem is that he works really late at night, and after his shift he’ll come over, wake me up at like 3 AM, all turned on, trying to take my PJs off (and I just can’t say “no”). We don’t get to bed until at least an hour later. It's awesome that we have this physical connection --and I’m not complaining about the sex-- but I have to get up really early in the morning for work and I'm just exhausted! He does this at least 3 times a week. Since our relationship is so new, I’m worried that if I talk to him about it, we may lose our spontaneous passion. Any suggestions?

--Satisfied but Tired Tana

To see DEARSUGAR’s answer

Dear Satisfied but Tired Tana --

It looks like you have a case of the right thing at the wrong time. It’s great that you and your man are getting along so well in the bedroom, but if it’s going to compromise how you feel during the day (and your ability to do your job), then that’s just not going to work for the long haul.

Even though you’re apprehensive about losing the fiery romance, you’ve got to talk to him about this. As wonderful as it is to be sharing incredible intimacy like this, he’s got to respect your schedule. Maybe on those nights that he works really late, he can go back to his apartment instead of yours. On the nights that he’s free, you can spend the night together and plan to get to bed an hour earlier so you have time to "be together," and get still get enough zzzzz’s.

When beginning a new relationship, you’re always going to have to do a little work to weave your schedules together. As long as you’re both flexible and willing to compromise while respecting each other’s needs, there’s no reason why you can’t have a wonderful relationship and incredible sex too!


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