I've been going out with my boyfriend for about a year now, and I love him very much. We are best friends and I feel comfortable telling him pretty much anything, but there is one topic I usually keep my mouth shut on: his style! This includes his taste in shoes, clothes, and hair. I don't particularly like his style, but he seems very set in his ways. I find myself feeling not-so-attracted to him at times, which is obviously a bad sign. I have mentioned my preferences on occasion, but whenever I do, he misinterprets what my preferences really are. He used to be a "grunge" kid back in high school, and I think he's afraid of looking too "put together" (perhaps for identity reasons), but I'm not asking him to be preppy! I would never want him to feel uncomfortable in his own skin, I'm just asking for a haircut and a nice pair of jeans! How can I tell him this for the final time, without hurting his feelings or making him think I want him to change who he is? — He's a Slob Samantha
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Dear He's a Slob Samantha,
Unfortunately some men don't inherently have the best fashion sense, but sometimes they just need a little push in the right direction! It's easy to get set in your ways but if you're finding yourself turned off by his appearance, it's time to make a change — fast. Of course the easiest thing to do, although it maybe not the most thrifty, is to buy him some clothes that you'd like to see him in. A nice pair of jeans and a casual button down or sweater can go a long way. Additionally, when he does wear something you like, compliment him. Guys love positive feedback just like women do so hopefully he'll get the hint about what you like and what you don't like.
Since your boyfriend is your best friend, don't shy away from being honest with him — you'd want him to tell you what he likes on you too, right? I'm sure he wants you to find his as desirable as possible so be caring and sensitive, yet direct when having this discussion. Since you don't want him to change the person he is, hopefully you can meet somewhere in the middle. Good luck!