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You Asked: How Can I Cope With My Ridiculous Brother?

Dear Sugar -

My parents and I are growing extremely exasperated by my little brother's love life as it is constantly something he asks us to support and be involved with. For five years he had a steady girlfriend and we all really adored her, but they were young and went their separate ways. Before that relationship was cold, he was already onto a new girl, whom he brought to family dinners and events. Of course that relationship also fizzled. Soon after that, he met another girl and they got engaged after barely knowing each other. For months he was talking about a wedding, but it just didn't seem right. Needless to say she made the right call and ended the "engagement" before things got too far.

Now my brother is already talking about another girl all the while telling me about how he and his ex-fiancé still talk. I've tried to hear him out and give him the benefit of the doubt but this broken engagement has just been too much for all of us. He wants us to take his relationships seriously, open our hearts and homes to these girls, but he can't seem to be serious about any of them! I'm about ready to cut him off from discussing his girl dramas with me altogether and I honestly don't want to meet anyone unless they've been dating for at least two years! Am I being too harsh? — Over My Brother Betsy

To see DearSugar's answer

Dear Over My Brother Betsy,

I don't blame you for being frustrated, but you need to remember that this is his life, not yours. So while you can disagree with his decision to go from one relationship to the next, you can't blame him for wanting your family's approval — it sounds like you are all quite close. As his older sister, try talking to him and understand why he's jumping around the way he is. Once you have a better understanding of his rationale perhaps you'll be able to see his point of view.

Since excluding your brother from family functions isn't an option, the next time he brings a new girl around, simply stick by your parents or your other brothers and sisters — no one said you have to become these girls' best friend! Hopefully sooner than later he'll meet someone that sweeps him off his feet so you won't have to witness his game playing ways any longer.


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