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You Asked: How Can I Get Over This Betrayal?

Dear Sugar,

I had taken some naughty photos of myself for my boyfriend a year ago. Even though we are now broken up, I still had those photos on my computer. Unbeknownst to me, my best friend (who is also a close family friend) of 10 years saw those naughty pictures, and behind my back, downloaded them onto his computer. The only way I know this is because I caught them on his laptop while he was showing me vacation pictures. I didn't confront him when I saw my pictures on his computer because I was completely shocked, and tried to forget about it, but recently, he betrayed me again when he told my personal secrets to his friends in front of me.

I feel like I can never trust him again. I have always been sort of a pushover, but I feel like this was the last straw. I think about it every day and still cry over how betrayed I feel. I have always been one who stays clear away from confrontation, so what should I do? — Betrayed Betsy

To see Dear Sugar's answer

Dear Betrayed Betsy,

I don't blame you for feeling incredibly betrayed: Your "best friend" completely disregarded your feelings and broke your trust. Not only was it not his place to take your private nude photos off your computer, but telling your secrets in front of you was the icing on the cake.

While you are not the type to cause drama, you need to stand up for yourself. "Best friends" don't backstab the ones they love so I am wondering what his motives are here. Does he have feelings for you? Is he jealous that you took those photos for someone else?

Your first order of business should be getting those pics off his computer — you don't want those to get in the wrong person's hands! Secondly, I would distance yourself from this guy and not confide in him until he has shown you that he can be trusted again. Let him know how he made you feel and explain to him that he has to earn your respect and friendship back. Unfortunately there is nothing he can do or say to take back what he did, but hopefully in time, you will heal from this. Keep in mind that your hurt won't go away over night so hang in there. Good luck.


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