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You Asked: How Can I Make My Family Like My Boyfriend?

Dear Sugar--

I have been with my boyfriend since April and we totally hit it off right away and have been great since. I'm a single mother of 2 small children and he loves my kids and my kids love him. The only thing is that my family hates him, literally. They tell me that he is too young, not mature enough, ugly, scary and that he gives them the creeps. They are the only ones who have a problem with him. I have never had anyone treat me the way he does - he treats me like I'm a princess. I hated being in this situation, I was in it with my children's father.

My family doesn't like anyone when it comes to me, and no matter what I do is never good enough for my mother. My boyfriend said that he doesn't care what they think because he's here for me not for them. I just don't want to have to juggle them and then when we are together I don't want him to feel awkward, but he is apart of me. They never gave him a chance so is there anything I can do? -- Disappointed Dede

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Dear Disappointed Dede--

I am really sorry to hear your family hates your boyfriend, but he is right, the only thing that matters is that you like him. Being treated with respect and love is the most important part of a relationship and it sounds as though you truly care for this man. With that said, the fact that your family doesn't think anyone is good enough for you makes me think you have been mistreated in the past. Being overly cautious is sometimes important, but name calling and assuming the worst out of someone just doesn't seem fair.

Talk to your mom and tell her how upsetting it is for you not to have her support. Explain to her how well he treats you and how much it would mean to you if she were to at least give him a fair shot. Try to come up with activities you all have in common or events you can attend together so everyone can get to know each other better.

If your family is still opposed to warming up to your boyfriend, you're unfortunately going to have to accept their decision. Of course it will be awkward, but you need to follow your heart - if you feel a special connection with this man, you need to do what's best for you and your children, not your mother. Hopefully in time they will learn to see all the great things you see. Good luck.


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