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You Asked: How Can I Make my Parents Approve?

Dear Sugar--

I am the youngest child in my family and grew up with three older brothers. I am extremely close with my parents, but they have always babied me and have been extremely overprotective, especially when it comes to my love life. I have only brought one guy home to meet my parents and it really didn't go well. My father was basically trying to find something "wrong" with him the entire time so I now try to keep my dating life separate from my home life.

I have been dating a wonderful man for about 7 months now who I truly love -- I even think he could be "the one", but I am petrified to introduce him to my parents, specifically my father. My boyfriend is 10 years older than I am who recently got out of a terrible marriage, and although those factors are not ideal, I love him. I have never felt this way before and have never been treated this way by anyone in my life, and I'm ready to share my happiness, and the man who is responsible for my happiness, with the rest of my family. I know my father will find fault in his divorce and age, so my question is this: How can I make my family see past those issues like I have? -- In Love Laurie

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear In Love Laurie ---

I can completely relate to overprotective parents, but just keep reminding yourself that they only want the best for you, and in your father's eyes, no one will ever be good enough for his only daughter. With that said, you need to do what makes you happy -- it sounds like you have found a man whom you truly love and who loves you back, so that's the first step!

Do your parents even know you are dating or will this be a huge shock to them? Does your boyfriend know how overprotective your family is? I would first give him some insight on how your parents might react so he is at least prepared if he isn't welcomed with open arms. If your brothers haven't met him yet, perhaps start there, they might be able to report good news to the rest of your family. When you're ready for your parents to meet him, perhaps suggest a dinner or lunch date, nothing too formal, but pick a restaurant that isn't too loud so everyone can chat and get to know each other.

Since you have always kept your love life to yourself, the mere fact that you are initiating this meeting will be telling enough that this man really means something to you, so hopefully your dad will take that into consideration. Remember to be yourself, don't try to push your boyfriend onto your parents, let them warm up to him at their own pace. Hopefully seeing you together and how happy he makes you will be reason enough for your parents to love him just as much as you do. Good luck.

Source

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Join The Conversation
nessabum nessabum 8 years
you're old enough to make your own decisions for yourself and your life. they need to respect that you are doing what's right for you. i mean, after all, wasn't that the whole point of raising you? so you can take care of yourself?
bfly1133 bfly1133 8 years
The first course of action is realizing that you can't make your parents accept or like any boyfiend/husband/significant other. Once you get past that, I agree with what Dear said. :) Just remember that there comes a time in all of our lives where we have to do what we want and need, even if our parents aren't too pleased.
Bonne Bonne 8 years
Don't introduce him on a one on one basis - invite all some of his family and some of your family to an outing. Pops is less likely to go on attack mode when there are other strangers near by. Next, listen to your parents. They will see things you don't and acknowledge their opinions.
GQ_send GQ_send 8 years
problem is he's 10 years older than you. They say that you never truly fall in love unless that man made you go through hardship and happiness..to progress is to suffer. TRULY falling in love is not that EASY. Don't say you're actually in loves your heart actually says so.
hills hills 8 years
it dosnt make him a bad person for being married before, but im sure ur parents no this already and its gr8 that they care enough to be overprotective, mayb u could talk to your dad and explain to him if he remembers how scary it is introducing ur new man to your parents especially when they are protective like yours, exlpain that you really appreciate there love and concern but your a big girl and can make your own life decisions, even if they think its a bad idea u still need to make your own mistakes, if there is any to be made.
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 8 years
You don't need to introduce the guy by his age and marital status! Let them get to know him and then go from there.
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