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You Asked: How Can I Stop Being So Jealous?

Dear Sugar--

Well, I have a problem with being jealous. My girlfriend and I have been together for 5 months and I always want to know what she is doing all the time.

For example, last night she wanted to go to this dance and while I was at work, I got upset and said I'd be mad if she went. I realized I shouldn't have said that but even after I apologized many times that night, she was still mad at me. I don't know how to make it up to her.

I don't want to lose her. I want to stop blurting things out before I think. How do I prevent this from happening in the future?

--Jealous Jim

To see DEARSUGAR'S advice,

Dear Jealous Jim--

Well, I must say that I am relieved that you know being jealous is irrational and unfair to your girlfriend. She has every right to be upset with you. Jealousy is a controlling behavior and no girl is going to put up with a guy telling her what she can and can't do. You need to do some soul searching and figure out why you feel this way in the first place.

It seems like you are insecure about how your girlfriend feels about you. Since you clearly have some trust issues, has she ever done anything in the past to betray you or to cause you to question her faithfulness? I suggest talking to your girlfriend about how you are feeling. Be honest and tell her that you have a hard time sharing her and you feel left out when she spends her free time with other people. Let her know that you don't mean to be so jealous and that you are making every effort to change your behavior.

Why don't you suggest meeting up with her after you get off work instead of staying home by yourself? Perhaps set aside some quality time to spend together when you are both free to reconnect. Getting to the root of your jealousy needs to be a top priority for you and your relationship can only benefit once your girlfriend sees the strides you are making. Good luck, Jim.


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