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You Asked: How Do I Make Amends?


Dear Sugar,

My family is in the process of moving, and while packing up some books, I noticed a number from an old friend from college. We stopped being friends over something stupid — I was young, and felt like I didn't need a friend — but that was two years ago. I was dropping both bad friends and good friends left and right; it wasn't a healthy time for me and shortly thereafter, I slipped into a depression and finally realized how important it is to keep people in your life.

I've already reconnected with a high-school friend, however she's not someone I would call a best friend. My friend from college was someone who I could go out with and had real fun around, which is something I want to do again. I'm not a partier by any means, but I love the idea of getting dressed up with girlfriends for a cocktail. I really do want to reach out to her and see if she's open to a friendship again, but I'm terrified that she'll want nothing to do with me after the way I treated her. What should I do? How can I deal with it if she rejects me?

— Time For Friends Again Angela,

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear Time For Friends Again Angela,

Your worries are normal. Even if you hadn't ended things on a bad note, it can be scary to reach out to someone you haven't spoken with in years. In your case, some apologies are definitely in order. When you talk to her, make sure to express your regret at your behavior. If she feels your sincerity, she'll be more likely to give you another chance. But even if she's receptive to your desire to be friends again, it won't be so easy to simply pick up where you left off. Your friendship was damaged when you cut her out of your life, and you'll both have to work on rebuilding it — she'll need to believe she can trust you again.

If she decides that she's not willing to try to rebuild things then consider this an opportunity to branch out and meet new people; it's never too late to start anew. And I'm sure there are other women out there you can have fun with, especially now that you've realized the importance of having and being a good friend.

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