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You Asked: I Called Him the Wrong Name!

Dear Sugar,

I have been talking to this guy for awhile now. We've never been on a date, but I have feelings for him and he has feelings for me. We were out talking one day and I made a mistake and called him someone else's name. The real bad thing about it is, it wasn't the first time I have done this, and this time I called him my ex's name. I don't talk to my ex anymore, and I am completely over him, I just spoke without thinking. After this slip up, he has completely changed and is acting strange towards me. I really like him and I want a future with him. What can I do to get back to the way things were? — Freudian Slip Francine

To see Dear Sugar's answer

Dear Freudian Slip Francine,

Does your new crush know that the name you called him was that of your ex or are you being overly paranoid? Since you haven't been on a date yet, I wouldn't sweat it too much, it's not like you've called your boyfriend the wrong name, but I'm wondering why you keep forgetting it. Is your mind wondering when you're with him or are you simply making honest mistakes?

It's no wonder that he's acting strangely towards you, it can't make him feel very liked by you when you can't get his name straight so you're going to have to figure out a way to move past this awkward phase. Although you feel guilty, I wouldn't bring more attention to the situation than needed. Continue to spend time with him, make sure to get his name straight at all times, and hopefully you can advance your relationship and one day look back and laugh about your Freudian slips. Good luck!

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Join The Conversation
Gdeeaz Gdeeaz 8 years
ive done this several times. everytime i have done it, i was half asleep and wasnt thinking straight.
MsKinney MsKinney 8 years
Wow, I did this, With someone that I would love to have a realationship with.. and feel like a real dumb a@@.. I don't know why it just sliped out.. I don't even think about my ex Both of the names start with a B.. Oh Man, He herd me say it.. I was more concerned, with looking for the right words to say, then thinking of his name. How does the brain do that. I feel like I'm falling in Love with this guy..He's the Best man.. Well its nice to know I'm not alone.. Sorry about our Luck!
MsKinney MsKinney 8 years
Wow, I did this, With someone that I would love to have a realationship with.. and feel like a real dumb a@@.. I don't know why it just sliped out.. I don't even think about my ex Both of the names start with a B.. Oh Man, He herd me say it.. I was more concerned, with looking for the right words to say, then thinking of his name. How does the brain do that. I feel like I'm falling in Love with this guy..He's the Best man.. Well its nice to know I'm not alone.. Sorry about our Luck!
melda melda 8 years
its nothing that bad just try to remember not to do that again
junebrug junebrug 8 years
If it was just the wrong name to him, I don't know why he would act weird, people make mistakes all the time, especially busy people who see tons of people every day. But if he knows it was your ex...um, that's bad. Now he knows you think of him as a potential boyfriend and as a potential ex boyfriend, and that you were probably thinking about your ex boyfriend while with him, do your best, but there may be no recovering from that one.
murmurkibbies murmurkibbies 8 years
At least you didn't do it during sex, right?
karlotta karlotta 8 years
Well, it's quite simple really - you called him the name of the last person with whom you were happy and comfortable and in love. That says a lot about how you feel about HIM.If THAT explanation doesn't do it, I don't know what will!And if I were you I'd add a special touch like actually writing it to him in a sweet note and mailing it out. It may be a bit of a grand gesture for people who aren't "seeing" each other yet, but if he's upset, it's because his feelings are hurt... and hurt feelings go away with grand gestures! It's all a question of tipping the balance ;)Good luck!
karlotta karlotta 8 years
Well, it's quite simple really - you called him the name of the last person with whom you were happy and comfortable and in love. That says a lot about how you feel about HIM. If THAT explanation doesn't do it, I don't know what will! And if I were you I'd add a special touch like actually writing it to him in a sweet note and mailing it out. It may be a bit of a grand gesture for people who aren't "seeing" each other yet, but if he's upset, it's because his feelings are hurt... and hurt feelings go away with grand gestures! It's all a question of tipping the balance ;) Good luck!
Esix Esix 8 years
humanum* ( why can't we edit our posts?)
Esix Esix 8 years
I'd beat the living snot out of you, grrrrrrr!!! Naah, just say sorry and let him know it meant nothing, maybe if you're up for it, ask him out, since haven't been on a date yet. I'm sure he isn't too impressed, but hey errare humanun est :)
Esix Esix 8 years
I'd beat the living snot out of you, grrrrrrr!!! Naah, just say sorry and let him know it meant nothing, maybe if you're up for it, ask him out, since haven't been on a date yet. I'm sure he isn't too impressed, but hey errare humanun est :)
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 8 years
I'd be annoyed if it happened more then once. I hope he aired his grievance because there are only so many excuses you can make.
sparklestar sparklestar 8 years
My mother calls me my dad's name sometimes!Bizarre.
sparklestar sparklestar 8 years
My mother calls me my dad's name sometimes! Bizarre.
CaterpillarGirl CaterpillarGirl 8 years
I can usually keep track of who i am with. :P
Berlin Berlin 8 years
Hello you're human! If you were doing it because you weren't over him then that would be one thing, but this is just a freudian slip! I mean we get in the habit of using one name without reserve, it just becomes part of our routine, and when that person is no longer in our life, it just doesn't become removed from our memory or our routine. It can also come out during heated times so watch out lol. But this happens in my whole family a lot...my mom calls me her very best friend's name and my father calls me his sister's name, and it happens when they either get flustered when trying to get something out or when they are saying so much at once. But if he can't forgive you for that, then shame on him!
lovelylei lovelylei 8 years
I agree with all the advice here. just don't do it again, make him KNOW you like him and give it time, I'm sure he'll get over it.
Greggie Greggie 8 years
Heck, my husband called me the wrong name the morning after our wedding. I don't care, everyone messes up names sometimes. Half the time I call my kids by the cats' names. Apologize, explain it's normal, and if he still has a problem with it, he's the one who needs to figure it out, not you.
Greggie Greggie 8 years
Heck, my husband called me the wrong name the morning after our wedding. I don't care, everyone messes up names sometimes. Half the time I call my kids by the cats' names.Apologize, explain it's normal, and if he still has a problem with it, he's the one who needs to figure it out, not you.
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