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You Asked: I Don't Know What to Believe

You Asked: I Don't Know What to Believe


Dear Sugar,

My boyfriend of five months just told me that he has chlamydia. He swears he hasn't cheated on me, but after researching STIs, I found out that symptoms usually surface within a week or two. I talked to a doctor and was told that while it's possible for symptoms to show up months after being infected, they usually show up within seven to 21 days. We are together all the time, so his response to my accusations was, "When would I have had time to cheat on you?" As it turns out, he was out of town about a week and a half ago, visiting some college friends, which makes perfect sense time-wise. I am in love with him and things have been going really well so I don't want to mess things up by being jealous or paranoid; however, I won't tolerate cheating and/or lying — I just want to know the truth. What should I do (besides getting treated for chlamydia!)? — Skeptical Sasha

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Dear Skeptical Sasha,

I'm really sorry to hear that your boyfriend has put you in this situation. Since I don't know anything about his character, I can't say if your boyfriend is lying or not, but the doctor you spoke with is correct — chlamydia doesn't necessarily appear right away and it can often be asymptomatic, which is probably how it got passed to you. With that said, it sounds to me like you're pretty certain that your boyfriend cheated on you (very irresponsibly, may I add), in which case you need to decide if you're willing to forgive him and rebuild the trust that's been lost.

Your first order of business should be taking care of yourself and seeing your gynecologist. Once you've done that, sit down with your boyfriend and have a serious heart-to-heart. Ask him to flat out tell you the truth. If he swears yet again that he didn't cheat, you're going to have to make a judgment call. This could be a case of coincidental timing or he could be lying through his teeth. Unfortunately, you may never know the truth, so the only advice I can offer is to trust your instincts. Good luck.

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