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You Asked: I Don't Understand Why He's Rejecting Me

You Asked: I Don't Understand Why He's Rejecting Me

Dear Sugar,

A friend of a friend asked me out about two months ago. We had known each other for a while, but we really hit it off at our mutual friend's birthday party. He pursued me and made me feel connected to him in a way I hadn't felt in a long time. Things were great for a few weeks; we talked on the phone and texted every day, went out a couple times a week, and we even started sleeping over at one another's apartments.

Then he started to pull back all of a sudden, telling me that he wasn't looking for anything serious and didn't want our relationship to affect his other friendships. This crushed me, and I have a strong feeling that our mutual friend had a hand in this. I've tried to talk to both of them about it, but I can't get a straight answer. Now the guy I was dating barely acknowledges me, even as a friend. I have to initiate every conversation and he always has an excuse for why he can't hang out. I really like him and don't understand how or why things changed seemingly overnight. I just don't know what to do — help! — Blindsided Betsey

To see DearSugar's answer

Dear Blindsided Betsey,

Without getting a straight answer from the guy you were seeing, you'll never know the motivation behind his decision to pull away from you. Sure, your mutual friend could have a part in it, but that's just speculation until you get the truth from the horse's mouth, so to speak. Since he's not taking the initiative to spark conversation with you, you have two choices. One, you can let things settle down for the time being, or two, you can ask him to coffee or to meet for a drink in order to talk everything out and understand his change of heart.

At the end of the day, not all relationships work out, and if he continues to avoid you, I'd close this chapter in your life and move on. Fighting for someone who doesn't want to be with you never feels good so hopefully you'll be able to get the answers you need sooner rather than later.


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