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You Asked: I Don't Want to Be Used Anymore

You Asked: I Don't Want to Be Used Anymore


Dear Sugar,

I have been hooking up with a guy for about a month now and he continues to surprise me by how genuinely sweet he is every time we hook up. Unfortunately though, he doesn't want a relationship — he has considered it many times but something always changes his mind.

I continually get angry at myself for allowing him to, for lack of a better word, use me. On many occasions I tried to just be friends with him, but we always end up going back to the same old thing. He's been very vocal about not wanting a relationship, but I'm left confused because his actions tell me something different. Is there hope for us? — Wanting More Maureen

To see DearSugar's answer read more.

Dear Wanting More Maureen,

While actions speak louder than words, I think you should take what he says to heart this time. A month is a pretty long time to hook up without taking it to the next level, so if you're left unfulfilled with the relationship you have, I suggest you cut ties and move on. If he does come to the realization that he wants something more, revisit the situation, but until then, put yourself first. Feeling like you're being used will eventually wreak havoc on your self-esteem.

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