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You Asked: I Feel Guilty When I Masturbate

Dear Sugar--

I'm a single 24 year old virgin. I haven't dated too many men and I'm not sexually active or even that experienced. I started to masturbate recently, but after I have an orgasm I feel guilty and a little dirty. I don't think there's anything wrong with masturbation, but I don't know why I feel like this or how to get rid of the feeling.

--Feeling Guilty Greta

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Feeling Guilty Greta-

First of all, I need to say that I completely agree with you - there is nothing wrong with masturbation. I'm in full support of it 100%. Figuring out what you like sexually on your own will help you out immensely when you are ready to be intimate with someone else. If you already know what pleases you, all you need to do is feel confident enough to ask for it.

Now you said that you are a virgin, and fairly inexperienced when it comes to sex. Is this by choice? Do your religious or cultural beliefs forbid you from experimenting sexually? Were you taught by your parents or in school that sex or pleasure was a dirty thing? There's a reason that you feel guilty after masturbating - someone must have placed that idea in your head, so if you can get to the root of those negative feelings, then you can figure out how to get past them.

Also, since you're new to pleasuring yourself, it'll take some time before you feel comfortable with it. I'm sure everyone feels a little naughty or sneaky when it comes to being sexual - that's part of the fun. Whatever you do, just try to put the bad feelings out of your mind and focus on the fact that you are doing something to show yourself love and affection. Being sexual is one of the greatest parts about being human so have fun!


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