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You Asked: I Feel Ugly

Dear Sugar--

I got my hair cut a few months ago--- short. I used to have fairly long hair that I enjoyed, but unfortunately I get bored with my looks quite often. I used to dye my long hair a different color every few months, but I decided back in March that dyeing it just wasn't cutting it, and I wanted to do something drastic.

So, on impulse (like I do everything) I decided to go get it cut. My boyfriend fully supports me and really likes the look, but I HATE IT. He never hesitates to tell me how gorgeous he thinks I am, but I still feel unattractive. I've been growing it out, and while I think it's a cute cut, I miss my long hair and just don't feel as pretty as I used to.

I'm 5'3, weigh a normal 120 lbs and I have always felt fairly attractive until now. It has gotten past just missing my hair - I feel fat (I used to weigh 109-112 and am now 119-122) and I can't afford extensions. Are there any more tips you can give me to help me look and feel like my old self again? I feel ugly.

-- Aggravated Ally

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Aggravated Ally--

I can totally relate to you not feeling attractive. Many years ago I cut my long hair really short and regretted it the second I heard the scissors snip off my ponytail. It's devastating to feel bad and self-conscious about your looks, so I recommend working on changing what you can, in a healthy way.

I wouldn't recommend hair extensions, since they aren't good for your hair (they cause breakage). Just stick with growing it out and making the best of the length you have. Maybe go to a new hair stylist and get some hair advice on what you can do with your short locks and new styles you might like better in the grow out period. You also mentioned being unhappy with your weight. It doesn't sound like you need to lose weight, but it's important for you to feel good about yourself, so maybe what you could use is a little daily exercise to improve your mood and help you tone up a little.

It sounds like your confidence needs a little boost, so I'm wondering what's causing you to feel so insecure about yourself. Do these thoughts come purely from you or does someone else make you feel this way? If you can get to the bottom of these negative feelings, then you can figure out how to feel good about yourself again. Whatever the reason, try and do things that make you feel content and proud. Surround yourself with people who love you for you. Use your skills and talents to help others in your community. Looks really aren't everything, so spend less time changing yourself, and more time celebrating the unique qualities you already have.


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