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You Asked: I Kissed Someone Off Limits — Now What?

Dear Sugar,

I have a dilemma! I'm a college student, and one of my closest friends here has had a major crush on one of our mutual friends. Though she's liked him for two years, and though they've kissed once before, they're still just friends. Interestingly enough, I have also had a slight crush on him over the years, but nothing close to the intensity of her attraction. I just labeled him in the "off-limits" category because your friend's crushes can never be yours!

Well, the other night, I was dancing with him at a club, and he kissed me. I didn't pull back immediately, but I did stop the kiss ... eventually. Being one of the few friends here that she confides in about her feelings for him, I feel very guilty. To make matters worse, we all live in the same college residence and run into each other often. I haven't seen or spoken to him since (this happened about four days ago). Should I tell my friend what I did? Or should I live with my guilt knowing that telling her will only make her feel awful? — I Messed up Missy

To see Dear Sugar's answer

Dear I Messed up Missy,

You're in college and these kinds of things happen, so try not to be too hard on yourself. With that said, it sounds as though you knew what you were getting yourself into when you went to the club with this guy. Since you have developed your own crush on him and didn't push off his advances immediately, I am led to believe that you enjoyed this kiss, so if I were you, I would talk to your girlfriend ASAP and lay the truth out on the table.

Is there a chance this guy has feelings for you too? Would you want to date him if he did, or do you think this kiss was merely a product of getting wrapped up in the moment? Either way, honesty is always the best policy so own up to your actions. Your girlfriend will no doubt be upset and feel slightly betrayed, but I am sure she will appreciate hearing the news from you versus hearing it through the grapevine. At the end of the day, they are only "friends," so she technically doesn't have rights to him, so if she's as good of a friend as you think she is, she will understand the situation and forgive you. Good luck!


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