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You Asked: I Only Attract Much Older Men

Dear Sugar,

I am a young, college student who is comfortable in her own skin. However, I seem to only be pursued by men that are much older than me. Guys my age just seem to look straight past me, while older men always show interest in me. I find this a little creepy and can't help but wonder if there's something wrong with me. I'm a pretty girl by most standards, in good shape, and wear the same clothes as other girls my age. Physically, there's no reason why a young guy shouldn't be looking at me. There just seems to be something about my aura that only attracts older men.

Admittedly, I'm usually attracted to guys a little but older than myself, and when I really like someone, it has always been reciprocal. I'm not worried that I'll never meet anyone, but it bothers me that younger guys don't seem to notice me. Is there something wrong with me, and if so, what should I change?

— Older Men Only Marissa

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Dear Older Men Only Marissa,

Though I've never laid eyes on you, if I had to guess, I would assume that you're a women who looks a few years older than her age and who brings with her a maturity associated with women in their later 20s. While there's certainly nothing wrong with that, it's not surprising that older men, who are looking for a younger woman, would find that combination attractive. Unfortunately, having a much older man interested in you can feel a bit discomforting, but you can't control who's attracted to you, only how you react to their advances. If any man, no matter the age, makes you feel the least bit uncomfortable, then keep away from him.

As far as men your age go, I would bet that your male peers are attracted to you, but unlike their older counterparts, the young men wandering your college campus are still novices when it comes to pursuing a woman. Also, you mention that you're mostly interested in men a few years older, so it may be possible that around men your age, you're giving off an indifferent vibe that they're responding to by keeping away. If you want to start connecting with them more, don't be afraid to reach out via a quick conversation or even a smile; they're probably just waiting for an invitation.


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