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You Asked: I'm Cheating With My Best Friend

You Asked: I'm Cheating With My Best Friend

Dear Sugar,

I'm in a sexual relationship with my best friend, who happens to be in a relationship that is on the rocks. This has been going on for five months now. At first I thought it was just a physical thing, but then I began growing feelings for him beyond friendship. Now I think I'm falling in love. I'm sure he and his girlfriend will break up eventually, but it's yet to happen, so should I wait to tell him how I feel or let him know now?

— More Than Friends Melissa

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Dear More Than Friends Melissa,

I hate to be the one to say it, but this is not a good or healthy situation for anyone involved. Regardless of whether or not he's your best friend and their relationship is rocky, you're still playing the part of the "other woman," and he's still cheating. Although you make multiple references to your friend's relationship ending, it's been five months since he began cheating, and he still remains with his girlfriend. What makes you think it won't be another five months until he decides to call it quits or worse, another year?

Melissa, you deserve more than this. Do yourself a favor and stop sleeping with your friend immediately. Even if there is a possibility of having an actual relationship with him, starting it like this isn't a good way to go, so make a clean break while you can. If you're meant to be together, he'll end things with his girlfriend and come back to you. But if I were you, I'd look for a guy who isn't inclined to start up physical relationships with his so-called "friends" while he's currently taken.


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