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You Asked: I'm Worried He May Cheat

You Asked: I'm Worried He May Cheat

Dear Sugar--

I don't know if I should continue with the relationship I am in. We don't really ever argue, but I always feel like I'm holding him back in some way since he wants more from our relationship. I also don't feel secure enough to trust him, even though he has never given me any reason to think he would ever cheat on me. I don't know if I am sabotaging the relationship because I am scared or if I have valid

--Unsure Shannon

To see DEARSUGAR’s answer

Dear Unsure Shannon—

From what you're telling me here, it sounds like you may be into this guy, but you’re too nervous about the possibility of getting hurt that you're not letting yourself get close to him. If you are constantly worried that things won’t work out, then you’ll never allow yourself to fully enjoy and experience what could be an amazing relationship. That’s not fair to you or to him.

Since you have these trust issues but admit that there isn’t anything he’s ever done to cause you to not trust him, the issue lies with you. If someone has wronged you in the past, then I can see why you may be apprehensive, but you’ve got to focus on the present moment. Not all guys are lying, cheating jerks, so try to put that out of your mind and give this relationship a chance.

You should know that everyone feels scared and vulnerable when they let someone else into their heart. I suggest talking to your boyfriend openly about your insecurities and explain that you’re nervous about being hurt and rejected. I’m sure he’ll admit he feels the same way. Talking about your feelings will make you both feel more at ease and will deepen your connection and trust level. You can't give up before you've given this relationship a try. Good luck.


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