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You Asked: Is It Just a Coincidence?

Dear Sugar,

My boyfriend and I have been together for five years. He has a single female friend whom he has known before he met me. They have probably only hung out about five or six times since we have been together but what bothers me is how I am "conveniently" never available when they hang out. Most of the times that they have been together, I only find out about it by accident, he never volunteers the information to me. I get what I am saying is that I am jealous, and suspicious — and that's the excuse he uses why he doesn't tell me when he meets up with her (because I get jealous and crazy). It really bothers me a lot but I don't know how to get him to understand.

I've told him I want to meet her so I can feel better about them hanging out, but every time we secure plans for us to meet, something always comes up. What should I do? — Irritated Izzy

To see Dear Sugar's answer

Dear Irritated Izzy,

I think you nailed the issue here Izzy but your jealousy makes me think your boyfriend has betrayed your trust before. Has he cheated in the past or lied to you before about another woman? There is a reason why guys and girls being friends is such a tricky subject, but it sounds as though you're not upset that he has a female friend, rather that you are always left out of the equation when they are together.

It sounds as though they are both trying to make a date to meet you, six attempts says a lot, so hang in there. In the meantime, try to keep the lines of communication open with your boyfriend. If you act jealous and insecure whenever he mentions this friend of his, it's no wonder he isn't breaking his back to introduce her to you. Try to keep it all relative or else this will turn into a cycle that will be hard to break. If you truly feel that your boyfriend can't be trusted, follow your gut instincts and find another man that can. Good luck.


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