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You Asked: A Little Help With a New Sexual Experience

DearSugar --

I just started dating a wonderful guy who is extremely attentive in the bedroom and I want to reciprocate, but he is uncircumcised and I have no experience in that area. To be honest, I was uneasy even touching him and was a tad worried about how sex would be. Fortunately, it was absolutely fine -- amazing to be exact, so I guess I feel silly and a little guilty about my hang up. Any advice? ~ Eager Ellen

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Dear Eager Ellen --

Sounds to me like you're a lucky girl: a wonderful guy who digs you and is attentive in the bedroom to boot. I'm glad you're the kind of woman who appreciates a good guy and a good lover, so let's see what we can do to help you feel more confident about pleasing him.

The difference, as you've encountered, involves foreskin. When a fella is circumcised, he's accustomed to exposure (brushing against fabric and such), and his penis -- sensitive as it is -- won't be as sensitive to the touch as his uncircumcised brother with a protective foreskin. If your guy seems particularly sensitive, let him direct the show a bit. That's never a bad thing, and most fellows aren't shy about it.

The foreskin contains its very own, super-special nerve receptors; you'll give him a lot of pleasure by gently stretching and sliding the foreskin over the head of his penis, though be careful not to pull or tug his foreskin too roughly. There's a learning curve for anything new, Ellen, so don't let yourself get too anxious or fretful. Uncircumcised or not, every fellow is especially sensitive just below the head on the underside, and you can't go wrong being friendly in that neighborhood.

As for oral sex, you might want to place your tongue into the foreskin and then swirl your tongue around the head, making a circle. Master this, and you master him, Eager Ellen. Also, with your fingers, try softly massaging the head through the foreskin, alternating that motion with some licking. You'll want to pull back the foreskin before rolling on a condom, too. This will help maximize his sensitivity.

Most of all, relax. Be patient. Things generally get better and better this way, for all of us, the more we know our partner. Enjoy him, Ellen. And enjoy yourself with him.

Ladies . . . Anyone else have some tips?


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