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You Asked: My Best Friend is a Flirt!

Dear Sugar--

I have some issues with my best friend. We are opposites, which I love most of the time because we inspire and learn from each other, and balance each other out. But sometimes things bother me about her because they directly affect me, while I don't disrupt her at all.

I am shy and relatively withdrawn in social situations, but I'm getting better all the time. Anyways, I pride myself on being loyal to who I'm with and reserve flirtatiousness and sexiness for my man. She is extremely sexually postured (has big boobs that she is always conscious of), and flirts with any guy. She isn't necessarily promiscuous, but is dating three guys right now, enjoys sexual attention, and is 'touchy.' I feel this even when my boyfriend is around, and that's my only concern. She can be whoever she wants with others guys- obviously I have no control over it. But I don't like it when she's like that with my boy. He won't say anything to her because he's kind of shy too. I don't want him to go along with it, however, I can't control him either. I've already hinted at the subject with both of them and there's nothing more I can say.

Am I right to feel this? Deep down I feel like I may just be jealous of her bust. How can I get over feeling this way so I don't dread hanging out with them?

--Annoyed With my Best Friend

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Annoyed With my Best Friend--

I would be upset about this too. Just so you know, most girls who are overly flirty with guys are just craving the attention (like you said). Since she's busy flirting with others guys besides your boyfriend, you can feel good knowing she probably doesn't have real feelings for him. It's all about the game. She wants to throw out the bait and see how many fish she can get to bite.

That being said, she has crossed a major line between best friends. You never ever do anything that could affect your best friend's relationship with her boyfriend. What is she thinking? Her behavior is unacceptable and "hinting at the subject" isn't enough unfortunately. She needs a talking to.

Invite her out to lunch and casually tell her how you feel. Just be honest and say you don't mind her flirting with other guys, but that it upsets you and makes you uncomfortable when she acts that way with your boyfriend. Point out specific examples of behavior you want to see end so she's absolutely clear about your boundaries. Since you are best friends, I'm sure she'll completely understand and leave your man off her flirty to-do list. Good luck!


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