I have been dating my boyfriend for almost two years, and about a year ago, I let him move into my house. We have a good relationship at times, but I find myself feeling both confused and annoyed by his behavior often. Sometimes he seems completely in love with me and shows me affection both physically and verbally, but at other times, he couldn't seem less interested. In fact, sometimes I feel like he doesn't even notice when I'm in the house. When I get home he doesn't ask me where I've been or why I was gone so long. And when I am out, he never checks in with me. Is he just not invested in our relationship anymore? What should I do?
— Baffled Bea
To see DearSugar's answer
Dear Baffled Bea,
It sure sounds like you and your boyfriend aren't doing a whole lot of talking or expressing your emotions. Taking some time to explain to him how you're feeling and getting a better sense of what he's thinking is a safer bet than assuming that he's suddenly lost interest in the relationship.
If you guys are still having good moments, and he's not doing anything intentionally hurtful, then I think there's a good chance that he's just reached a comfortable place in the relationship where he's inadvertently taking you for granted. He knows you'll always come home, so he doesn't need to ask what time. However, it's still important that your needs are being met, so you need to alert him as to what those needs are.
It can be scary to express ourselves, but to maintain a healthy and happy relationship, it's incredibly important to learn how. Once you've crossed this hurdle, it's likely that your relationship will take on a new level of closeness!