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You Asked: My Boyfriend Wants Me to Pee on Him!!!

Dear POPSUGAR

So I have a rather bizarre and somewhat embarrassing dilemma. I've been with my current boyfriend for six months and we get along so well. We spend all our free time together, and we talk openly about how much we love each other and want to get married someday.

So here's the deal. He's an extremely sexual person, wanting to do things I've never done with anyone before. It's actually been really fun and liberating. But his birthday is coming up, and he wants me do do something that may be crossing the line here — he's asked me to pee on him. He says it's a fantasy of his, and it would make him really happy, but I feel really weird about the whole thing. Is this normal?

— My-Boyfriend's-Erotic Elizabeth

Dear My-Boyfriend's-Erotic Elizabeth

As weird as his request may be, it's not completely uncommon to want your lover to pee on you. With that said, that's not really the issue here. What really matters is whether or not you feel comfortable doing what your boyfriend has asked. You shouldn't feel pressured to do anything sexually that you don't want to do, even if it is his birthday.

It's great that he feels so open and comfortable to want to share this fantasy with you, but he's also got to understand that it's a strange request. I suggest talking to him about your feelings and reservations. You may need to set up some rules about it, like, "This makes me really uncomfortable and I think it's gross, so how about I pour warm water on you instead?" or if you're up for it, "I'll do it to you but I don't want you doing it to me," or "I'll only do it this one and only time, but that's it." Talking about the experience before it happens will make you both feel better. I hope this helps Ellen.

— Additional reporting by Alexis Nordby

Image Source: Shutterstock
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Join The Conversation
pureperfection pureperfection 7 years
honestly, i wouldnt pee on my man even if he wants to! maybe i will try it ONCE! but ONLY ONCE!
Realblonde Realblonde 8 years
Maybe he just want's you to "mark your territory". Ha Ha. Sorry, but that's not my cup of wee. Oops, I meant cup of tea! Ha Ha!
<3-Gossip <3-Gossip 8 years
Weird.
apotter777 apotter777 8 years
Okay, after reading all of the other posts there are some things I really want to say. I think it would be really shallow to break up with a guy just because of this. He was sharing his deepest fantasies with you and that shows that he cares and trusts you; a lot. It's not like he was trying to force you to pee on him. Also, I don't think anyone has the right to call this "nasty" considering all of the sexual stuff that we consider "normal". I mean if you think about it it's not much different then oral sex. As for the request itself. When I'm being perfectly honest with myself I think I'd do it if it would please him so much. As long as he didn't want to do it to me. If he wanted to pee on me I would definitely have to draw the line. I just wouldn't feel comfortable. That's what it all measures down to. Whether or not you feel comfortable doing it. If you don't then just tell him. I'm sure he'll understand. After all, it is a huge request. And if you do feel comfortable enough doing it, well then, give it a shot. You never have to do it again if you don't want to. Best of luck.
Schaianne Schaianne 8 years
You know, personally, that's not for me and I'd have to tell my hubby "No, thanks" ... but that is pretty cool he trusts you enough to ask. I'd do some soul searching ... research it on the net like some have advised ... and come to the conclusion of what YOU can handle. Good luck to you both!
vmruby vmruby 8 years
Your welcome!I glad to hear he's doing better.Good for him for being honest.I also really hope is family comes around.I can imagine that it has to be so devastating to be cut off from the ones you love. Maybe what they need is some time to adjust.He is very lucky to have you for a good friend.Good Luck!
candy-apple candy-apple 8 years
vm, thanks for understanding. my point was just: what's strange to you would be normal for someone else and vice versa, so let's try to all live and let live without judging anyone. and i DO take some things personally sometimes.. it's just an issue that's had such an impact on me and my friends' lives. as for the good friend i mentioned, yes it's better now as he moved to a bigger city for university. it's still very hard on him though, being only twenty-one and virtually being cut off from his whole family and community just because of something personal that was essentially no one else's business, but that he had the courage to be honest about.
vmruby vmruby 8 years
I just want to make it clear that i am in no way judging anyone for what they choose to do behind closed doors.On the other hand I am sorry to hear about how people are treating your friend.No one deserves that BS regardless of who they are and you are right it is very hurtful.I am mortified and ashamed to think that i actually have to share a planet with those morons who don't have one penny's worth of common sense.But there are also alot of folks out here that don't think that way and i don't believe any of the others comments were directed towards that issue or neither meant to be hurtful.It's kind of hard to express yourself typing words on the screen and sometimes people tend to take things personally.It happens.Anyway i honestly hope that things get better for your friend if they haven't improved already... :)
candy-apple candy-apple 8 years
sorry if my post was a bit too flamboyant.. didn't mean to be a pain in the ass to anyone. i just hate hate hate when people start labelling behaviors as normal and abnormal. i have a very close gay friend from a small christian community and let me tell you he's been through hell coming out and dealing with those exact same kind of reactions. and it's not even the "eww gross" that ticked me off but the poster (i dont remember who), who was talking about "underlying issues". that is such a judgmental thing to say and can be very hurtful when said to someone just because they're different.
vmruby vmruby 8 years
WTF?How in the hell did fantasizing about having sex with small children get into this. I'm not even going to go there.Are you kidding me????:oy: I think peeing on someone IS WEIRD.! I believe I also stated in the beginning of my post that "I'm not judging anyone here".So now let me repeat myself again for those of you who are so quick to respond negatively. For the people who enjoy that kind of stuff, I say good for you.If it makes you happy that's great. To the others who accused a few of us of being close minded, wow,exactly how long did it take for you to come up with that ridiculous conclusion.( i'm thinking it's you who would be the close-minded person).Keep your judgements about people you don't know to yourself and stop being such huge pains in the a$$e$ when somebody else dares to disagree.Geeze :oy:
kendalheart kendalheart 8 years
I don't think that just because someone thinks of this as gross that means they are close minded. Maybe to some people this may be normal but obviously for the majority it is abnormal! Just because someone doesn't think this is normal behavior, doesn't mean that they are close minded-just means the very thought of it turns them off! Everyone has their own things to each their own but this is an opinion forum and if someone doesn't have that same opinion I don't think they should be put down and labeled close minded...sounds a bit hypocritical of you to insinuate such a thing about someone else's opinion just b/c it differs from yours.
sanD13 sanD13 8 years
haha golden shower. what a euphemism.
söderskär söderskär 8 years
It sounds like fun to me, but if you feel uncomfortable, just don't do it. It's a bit desperate to give him sex for his birthday. Those 5-30 seconds of his satisfaction are not worth it if you're gonna be grossed out, frustrated and uncomfortable for days or weeks (or longer) afterwards. Only do stuff you enjoy, at least a little. I personally don't find anything gross or weird about it. It's actually a pretty common male fantasy and it's not degrading like so many of them. Tell him how you feel about it, if he cares about you, he'll understand. Tell him he can fantasize about anything he wants while he and his right hand are spending some quality time together, but sex should be fun for both of you. Or if you do it, at least get him to do something for you in return, like buying you some gorgeous shoes or taking you to Paris or Hawaii on a romantic getaway :D
bibiruby82 bibiruby82 8 years
I sure as hell wouldn't dump a guy over something like that. It does sound strange, but hey, the only time I'd do something like that would be in a shower with my man...of course I'd also insist on wearing heels(stripper-ish heels, I would imagine that's the only time those of us who aren't strippers would wear them...either to a club or when you're having sex with your man or girl...maybe even group sex). I know, I'm a freak....then again. However, that's as far as I go there. If it's to go #2 on him...Oh HELL NO! I draw the line there.
tokenguy tokenguy 8 years
To the women (girls?) who would actually stop seeing someone because of this request? Sheesh, get over it! Don't get me wrong, I have no interest in this at all, never done it and probably never will. But if my partner asked this of me, I'd actually consider it a very respectful thing, that they felt they could trust me enough to ask me to participate in this fantasy with them. Would I do it? Dunno. But break up with someone over it? Absolutely no way!
KerryG KerryG 8 years
Good points, popgoestheweasel and candy apple. Still not something I'm interested in trying (fortunately, my husband doesn't seem to be either), but urine is technically sterile, so if it's sanitation that's making us all go "eww" we can stop right now. Actually, one of my sisters-in-law says she gargles with it when she has a sore throat, and swears that it helps. The same sister-in-law (who's Muslim) called me after her grandmother's death (after a long illness and extended coma), freaking out because she'd given her husband oral sex for the first time in their marriage the week before and she was convinced that her grandmother had died because of their "sin." What is or is not "gross" or "dirty" is often simply a cultural construct.
cgmaetc cgmaetc 8 years
I'd eat a lot of asparagus, beans, onions, garlic, and drink a lot of dark soda and let him have it. See how he likes your stinky pee then!
jenzterama jenzterama 8 years
wow, what a weird fantasy!
candy-apple candy-apple 8 years
i'm with popgoestheworld on that one. one thing that really bugs me is when people start to classify certain sexual acts as "normal" v.s. "abnormal". it's such a close-minded and self-centered attitude that i really don't think has any place when it comes to sex- probably the single most natural and inherent instinct we have. do you realize that sex is something humanity has been doing since creation and what separates us from animals (except for perhaps the Bonobo, lol) is that we have a gazillion ways to do it?! that's the whole beauty of it. also- i personally think it's very dangerous to view sex from such a close-minded point of you: did you know that anal sex for instance is illegal in many countries? that something as normal and enjoyable for us as cunnilingus is considered the most foul and dirty thing in pretty much all strictly muslim cultures? that homosexuality was considered a psychiatric illness until pretty much the late-seventies, and still is in some parts of the world and even of the U.S? just try to keep an open mind before you label people as gross and disgusting, or with "underlying problems". as long as a person's sexual fantasy doesn't physically/mentally harm anyone and is between two consenting adults, it should have a right to exist and be practiced without judgement.
Marci Marci 8 years
Yes, I remember having to have 'golden showers' explained to me. I couldn't imagine ANYONE wanting to do that then. But now I'm a little older and wiser and realize that whatever goes on between two consenting adults is okay. So this really comes down to whether you want to give this a whirl or not. Your boyfriend sounds like he's opening you up to all sorts of new and fun things sexually. And that's terrific. But keep in mind that if there are things you just don't want to do, you don't have to. And it shouldn't have any bearing on your relationship.
pinupsweetheart pinupsweetheart 8 years
Hmmm...he asked for the "golden showers." Well I agree it is not an uncommon thing for people to do. And it is odd that he asked for this after going out with you for only 6 months. Personally, I would rather walk down the street naked than do that with my partner. I don't even like him to be near the bathroom when I am peeing in the toilet! Anyways, the bottom line is it seems like your sexual preferences are not matching up. On a scale of 1 to 10, he sounds like an 11 and you are maybe a 5. If you do not feel comfortable with this act, speak up. If he insists on doing something, I agree with the others in suggesting an alternative act such as hot oil or chocolate. Remember you have every right to be comfortable with sex. You should not be forced or quilt tripped into doing something you do not feel comfortable.
maybe-13 maybe-13 8 years
personally, I wouldn't really have a problem with doing this if it was requested. even though it's not something that really interests me. But I really think you have to be confident about the levels of love and trust in your relationship, it's not something for a first date. You should never do something that makes you feel uncomfortable or bad about yourself and if you're in a loving relationship, your other half is going to be ok if you say no. So think about it and ask him questions, ask him what about it he really likes and how he imagines his fantasy in detail so you know just what he's thinking. If you can't talk about it, you probably shouldn't be doing it - I think that's a pretty good way of looking at any sexual practice. A lot of people here think it's an icky idea, but then so many people have weird predilictions that they wouldn't dare talk about. Me, I'm attracted to slightly overwieght men, preferably with beards. I don't doubt for a minute that for a lot of people, that'd be gross. But who cares what other people think as long as you're happy?
dmartinxoxo dmartinxoxo 8 years
I don't think I could physically pee on a guy. I can't even pee with the door open, haha!
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