Recently, my boyfriend has been bugging me to set up a day at the beach with our group of mutual friends. He brought up the topic so much that I asked him why-- and he admitted sheepishly that he wants to see one of my friends in a bikini!!! I feel horrible now, since she's built just the way he likes his women-- large breasts, tight little tush, and great lean body with glowing skin. I feel doughy and uninteresting in comparison. The thing is, I've never thought about this before he brought it up. Now I feel very insecure and can't even imagine being at the beach with him or my friend this summer. Do you think he's wrong or insensitive for telling me the truth--that he finds my friend attractive? How can I get over this? Or should I just avoid the beach and the whole issue?
--Feeling Insecure Izzy
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Dear Feeling Insecure Izzy--
I would be upset and angry too! How would he like it if you told him you were attracted to one of his friends? This is more than an attraction though, since it sounds like in a way he wants you to set up a group date with her. I'm sure she would be pissed if she knew the truth too.
It sounds like this guy is not very loyal or respectful to your relationship. His eyes and attention should be on you, and you only --definitely NOT on your friend's boobs in her bikini top.
Women have enough problems with the judgments, insecurities, and criticisms we give to ourselves and we don't need or deserve having anyone else add fuel to the fire. If your boyfriend isn't appreciating the wonderful person he has right in front of him, then you should find someone who does! In other words, say NO to the beach day idea!