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You Asked: My Ex is Still Part of my Present

Dear Sugar--

Lately I can not get my ex fiance out of my head. We have this connection because we have a son together who is five years old. When we see each other, we always kiss and hug each other, sometimes we even have sex. Neither one of us are currently in another relationship and I have asked him numerous times if we can try to get back together but he says he doesn't know if it could work given our history. My question for you is should I let him go or stay hoping and praying that there's a chance we can make it? It is driving me crazy, it consumes my mind. Please help. -- Optimistic Olivia

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Optimistic Olivia --

It is very clear that you and your ex still have a deep connection, especially because of your son, but unfortunately Olivia, the only way you will be able to see clearly about this relationship is by distancing yourself from each other. He has been honest with you (in his words - not his actions) that he doesn't have faith in your relationship working out so while I understand you still have feelings for him, you're going to have to put a stop to the physical aspect of your relationship ASAP. When exes continue to be intimate with each other, there's no way to differentiate between being broken up and being together -- someone is bound to get hurt and that someone sounds like you.

Since your ex knows you want to give your relationship another go around, he is completely taking advantage of you by giving you false hope with hugs, kisses, and sex. Tell him that if he doesn't think it will work out between you two than he has to respect your feelings and back off. I'm sure it feels good to be affectionate with him while you're in the moment, but you're just hurting yourself in the long run if he can't give you what you want and deserve. Put your foot down and hopefully he will see what he is missing! Good luck.


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